A Wolf's Bane
by lilyyuri
Summary: What if Severus Snape and Remus Lupin were not enemies? What would have happened when Remus came back to teach in Hogwarts during Harry's third year? Follows the events of 'Prisoner of Azkaban' with a few liberties I allowed myself. A Snupin story.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer:** None of the characters and most of the plot isn't mine.

**Summary: **What if Severus Snape and Remus Lupin were not enemies? What would have happened when Remus came back to teach in Hogwarts during Harry's third year? Follows the events of 'Prisoner of Azkaban' with a few liberties I allowed myself. A Snupin story.

I saw somewhere someone calling Snape-Lupin Snupin and it was so cute and I bet that if Snape ever hears of it he'll explode with rage but I just had to use it.

**Prologue**

**25.05.1978**

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"Severus… Oh gods, babe yes, right there…" Eighteen years old Remus Lupin's head was tilted back to give his lover better access to his neck. He was currently leaning against the wall of the Astronomy tower, while his boyfriends' lips and fingers were working their magic on different parts of his body,

"Will you be quiet, Lupin?" Severus hissed, detaching his mouth from the pale flesh that was rapidly reddening under his ministrations, "You're making such a racket, the entire school can hear you!" Before he could resume his previous activity Severus found himself being pushed backwards by a glassy eyed Remus,

"So what if they do?" He asked, his voice still slightly shaking by his heightened emotions, but his face was clouding fast, "I already told you I don't really care if people know about us. I love you, Severus." Severus shook his head and turned away from the other teen to face the night sky. He wrapped his arms closely around his body his shoulders hunched.

Remus racked his hands in his hair, already regretting bringing up the subject. He knew what Severus was going to say, he's heard the dark haired teen's arguments countless times before and frankly- he didn't agree with any of them. So what if they were from different houses or that their friends hated each other or any of Severus' other objections. Remus didn't care; he stopped caring a long time ago. At first it was exciting, having a clandestine affair in a castle full of horny teenagers, passing encrypted notes to each other telling where and when they should meet, having to stay quiet during their time together. But now, after nearly six months Remus wanted more. He wanted time; he wanted to be able to work his way slowly over Severus' body, mapping every part that would make the other boy moan. He wanted a bed, no more hasty and hurried shags against the nearest available wall, he wanted to be able to watch Severus coming down from the height of sex all relaxed and sated. So basically he was prepared for everything Severus might say,

"I'm going to take the Mark." Everything, except that. Remus stared in shock at the back of his boyfriend's head, hoping beyond hope that he heard wrong or that Severus was bluffing. The Slytherin turned, his expression sad to look at Remus, "I'm sorry."

"How can you do that? How can you follow that madman?" Remus demanded angrily, this was absurd! He knew that Severus had found a sense of belonging and acceptance in the Slytherin house with those who believed in the Dark Lord's way. After the way his own father treated him, Remus could understand why Severus felt that Muggles were in the wrong but he still couldn't believe that Severus will go as far as dedicating himself to that cause. "When did you decide that? Why didn't you console me?"

"Because this isn't your decision or your care." Severus answered with a shrug, "I'm the one who made it and I'm the one who will own up to it." Remus rubbed his eyes, feeling lost. Severus was always the secretive type, who wouldn't say anymore than he absolutely had to and didn't show emotions often. At that moment the realization dropped on Remus like a ton of bricks- he'd been fooling himself all along, Severus never really loved him the way he did Severus. For Remus their relationship meant graduating and trying to make it in the outside world together. He couldn't wait to get their first flat together, not having to hide anymore. But apparently Severus had already decided where he was going and what he was going to do and Remus had no room in his future plans. Being from different houses was one thing; having a boyfriend in the grasp of an evil cult- as Remus saw the whole ordeal was something altogether different and Remus knew he couldn't carry on diluting himself.

"So that's it? I don't have a say here?" He tried one last argument, but the look in Severus' eyes told him that he had lost.

"I'm sorry Remus." Remus shook his head, a lump forming rapidly in his throat. He bit his lip, trying to hold himself together. He would not give Severus the satisfaction of seeing him breaking down. Severus made a feeble attempt at reaching towards the other teen but Remus waved his hand away,

"Just go. I need to be alone." Severus closed his eyes briefly, before nodding once and leaving the room. As soon as the door closed behind Severus' back Remus sank to the floor, trying to breath through his nose to hold the tears back. What a fool he had been- Severus Snape, the school potions star and most enigmatic teenager he's ever known, had played him like a damn violin and for what? Sex.

While Remus' romantic heart was all but ready to drop to his knees and declare his love in front of the whole school Severus was just interested in sex it seemed, and was willing to toss Remus aside as soon as his true passion stood in their way. It hurt. It hurt so badly and Remus gave up on the fight with himself and let the tears fall. It was over, and he lost.

**A/N: **It's a bit on the short side- I know. It's just to sort of give you a clue to what's going on. So, Severus and Remus were lovers when they were in school and broke up. Now, what will happen when they meet again, 15 years later?


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

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Severus Snape was bored, which was never a good sign. He was bored and he was pissed at Dumbledore for making him do this. He hated the beginning of the year feasts, they were boring and mundane. and worst of all, he had to watch a bunch of idiotic first years, who no doubt would make his life miserable being sorted into houses. To be honest, he didn't really care which of them ended up in his house, but since he was head of Slytherin he had to make an appearance.

Severus looked around him at the staff table, cataloging every teacher that sat there. He couldn't believe Dumbledore was so daft, or desperate to give the Care of Magical Creatures job to that oaf Hagrid. The man to who kept an Acromantula as a pet while he was a student, if the stories are to be believed, Severus shook his head in disgust.

He noticed that there was one teacher missing and wondered, just as every older student in the hall, who was going to be the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It was so infuriating of Albus to deny him the position yet again and Severus wasn't feeling one bit sorry for the sorry sap that was going to ruin their own life this year. People claimed the position was cursed, which naturally made it harder for Dumbledore to fill it each year, and Severus was wondering how far will the man go.

But to his utter disappointment, and slight annoyance the elusive teacher did not show his or hers face during the entire opening feast. Albus gave his usual nonsensical speech and the first years were sorted without an incident, it was always fun when they broke down in tears of peed themselves with fear- but lately it seemed that Fred and George Weasley were getting lax, perhaps it was because they had no siblings left to terror, finally.

Eventually the supper of hell was over and Severus was free to go down to his rooms in the dungeons and mope. Tomorrow will be the start of a new school year and once again Severus was left to wonder why on earth he chose to teach for a living- he hated those students, each and every one of them. They had no respect for the art of potion making and rarely any of them showed even an ounce of potential in the field. Surely he could do better things with his time, something that did not require spending so much time with those little pests. He'd probably have been a lot happier then. Severus did not like to dwell on the past, it was painful to think and analyze the paths he had chosen and the way he saw it- regretting the past never led anyone to anything good. One should always aim two fingers above the horizon. Looking back was a weakness.

The next morning he woke up in his usual first day of school mood- combat mode. He was ready to tackle the student body and do his best to install fear in the heart of the first years. it was easier if they were afraid of him from the beginning, it made them more respectable in the long run, well, most of them, there were always annoying brats like Potter or the Weasley twins, but Severus sighed mentally, you can't always win.

Walking through the corridors towards the Great Hall Severus glared at the few students he passed, noting in satisfaction that they automatically scurried to get out of his way. Taking the corridor that would lead him to the door directly behind the staff table he stood for a second next to the closed door, taking a deep breath and composing himself against the smiling faces of his colleagues. Dumbledore was spreading far too much cheer for his own good. But when he opened the door the first person he saw was the last person he ever expected to see.

"Remus…" He muttered feebly, wondering if Dumbledore had a personal grudge against him or was he just a cruel man. Remus Lupin was sitting there, in the staff table looking a little nervous, like all new teachers and sipping a cup of tea. Severus squared his shoulders, schooling his face into a mask of indifference and strode into the hall with his head held high.

"Good morning Severus!" Dumbledore's cheerful voice was like a nails racking on a blackboard in Severus' ears but he managed to cordial nod towards his headmaster nonetheless. "I trust you remember Remus Lupin?" Another curt nod,

"Severus." Remus' face split into a huge smile and Severus had to swallow hard on the urge to grab the other man and kiss him. He managed what he considered a smile and swept to his usual place before Remus could actually start a conversation. Sitting down Severus was rather grateful that there were at least six people in between them, not to mention Dumbledore's high chair which meant it was impossible for him to sneak glances at Remus unnoticed, even if wanted to. Which he certainly didn't! He reminded himself forcefully again and again.

What on earth was Dumbledore thinking? Remus Lupin was going to teach DADA? For a brief second Severus regretted not showing up for staff meetings on a principle, but he had a feeling this was the sort of thing Dumbledore did without consulting anyone- how else did they end up with 'Professors' like Quirrle? But no matter, if Severus ever prided himself of one thing, it was his ability to remain stoic and deny his emotions. He could survive this- he had no choice. He was not about to show Dumbledore _or_ Remus how much this was affecting him. But deep inside Severus was fuming with rage- not only did Albus pass him over for the DADA position _yet again_, he also gave the job to the one man Severus least wanted to see. He had finally managed to put some distance between him and his feelings towards Remus only to have the man come back and snatch his dream from under him. If their affair hadn't been so closely guarded that not even Remus' friends knew Severus would have thought that Dumbledore was trying to teach him some sort of lesson.

The first day of school was chaotic as usual, what with the first year's students who were ignorant and stupid and the upper classes that were un-teachable as well as ignorant and stupid. Plus there was the letter he received from Dumbledore during lunchtime that basically informed him that now on top of his usual chores he was expected to brew a Wolfsbane potion for Remus every full moon.

But Severus was taking it all in stride, well, his stride anyway, which meant he was being his usual snarky self doing his best to install fear in the hearts of the younger students. And most importantly- he refused to allow himself to think about Remus. This decision held firm until after dinner. Severus was in his office grading the summer papers of his students when someone knocked on the door,

"Come in," He called absently, frowning at the paper he was just reading and trying to make sense of it, only to give up and mark a large, red inked angry 'D' at the top of the page.

"Good evening Severus." Severus froze, his grip tightening on the quill to the point of near breaking it before he lifted his head slowly, the long years of training the only thing stopping the emotions from showing on his face.

"Remus." He nodded curtly. Remus smiled and Severus' jaw tightened. Yes, the werewolf looked a little worse for wear, tired and ragged but that smile… Oh, the things Severus would do just to see that smile, to hear that voice crying out his name… Clamping hard on the feeling Severus practically growled, "What do you want?"

"Just thought I'd come by for a little chat, you know- for old time's sake." Severus wanted to laugh, old time's sake? Back in the 'old times' chatting was pretty much the last thing they were doing. Looking at the open, honest face of the man in front of him Severus had to work hard not to step around the desk and grab the other man and kiss him, but he couldn't! Remus coming back changed none of the reasons they broke apart over in the first place and Severus couldn't afford to lose focus.

"I have no time for inane chatting," He practically snapped, "I have work to do." He didn't even have to look up to see it; he could picture the hurt expression on the other man's face. Back then it was mostly Severus who caused Remus hurt and apparently now was no different.

"I see." Remus dejected voice almost broke Severus' resolve but he needed to stay strong. He could not emotionally afford to get sucked into anything. And he certainly couldn't be Remus' 'friend'- it was just too painful. "I'll leave you to it then. Good night, Severus."

"Same to you." Severus replied without lifting his head. He held himself tight, his whole body rigid, until he heard the door click shut behind Remus' back before he allowed himself to slump backwards mentally and physically exhausted.

Stupid, stupid, stupid! Remus was rushing through the halls fighting the urge to bang his head against every wall he saw. What a foolish thing to do! When he accepted Dumbledore's offer he knew it involved meeting Severus again and Remus couldn't deny that a part of him was thrilled but mostly he was scared of, well, basically what just happened. He didn't expect Severus to fall into his arms and declare eternal love to him but this callous brushing off was a lot more painful than Remus was willing to admit even to himself. He should never have gone to Severus' office. He probably shouldn't have come to Hogwarts in the first place but that was a bit too late now.

So this was how things were going to look like from now on, a cold war. Remus was just about ready to march into Dumbledore's office and hand out his resignation but that would mean admitting that Severus had won, and Remus had a touch more pride than that.


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

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Severus was furious, no, he was livid, positively purple with anger. Anyone who passed him in the hall immediately scurried out of his way, students and staff alike. He simply could not believe Remus would stoop this low to get his attention. Well, he sure got it now!

The thundering banging on his door caused Remus to bite on a smile; it was only a matter of time, after all, until Severus would find out about today's lesson. True, when Remus set out to teach the third year students about Boggarts he didn't quite have _that_ in mind but as soon as Neville stuttered Severus' name Remus couldn't resist, it was just too good an opportunity to miss. Of course _now_ he had to face the music. Taking a deep breath Remus braced himself against the dark fury that was Severus Snape,

"Are you sure you want to come in?" He asked pleasantly as he opened the door, "I believe there are still a few people in Hogsmede who are yet to hear you knocking." Severus didn't even bother with a verbal answer, just one of his famous glares, the ones that were usually saved for particularly annoying students like Neville Longbottom and Harry Potter. Without waiting for an official invite Severus pushed his way into Remus' quarters, leaving the other man at the door. "Come in, why don't you." Remus muttered to himself before he turned to close the door and face his destiny. For a second he contemplated leaving the door open so that he'd be able to escape if things got dire but Remus was a Gryffindor, besides he knew how to handle the man- he couldn't have changed _that_ much over the years, right? "Can I offer you a cup of tea?"

"Don't do that!" Severus snapped, "You know very well why I'm here!"

"I can explain." Remus blurted out, trying very hard to hold back laughter. Severus crossed his arms over his chest and raised an expectant eyebrow at Remus,

"Yes?" He hissed in his coldest voice and watched as Remus opened and closed his mouth a few times. Damn! Thought Remus, he couldn't really explain any of this, and damn that Severus for calling him on it!

"Well, it's not really my fault you're Neville's Boggart…" He began, feeling like ten kinds of idiot for trying to defend his actions, "In a way it's a compliment, it means your methods are working."

"And who's idea it was to dress me up in an ugly dress?" Remus bit his lip again, the memory flashing before his eyes and he was having a very hard time not collapsing with laughter in front of Severus, but knowing who he was dealing with laughing at this point would probably end up in physical harm to him. He rubbed the back of his neck and tried to think of what to say next. On the one hand, dealing with an irate Severus was never fun, but on the other hand- the man was standing in his rooms and sort of talking to him which meant he couldn't be _that_ angry otherwise he'd go straight to Dumbledore and get him fired,

"It _was_ funny…" He heard himself mumble and wanted to kick his own arse for it. Turning away a little he ducked his head and awaited the blow. He heard Severus take a few steps closer to him and lifted his head in surprise- physical combat was never the dark man's style. Severus reached over and grabbed the front of Remus' robes, pulling the other man to him and crushing their lips together. Remus let out a small squeak of surprise that luckily was lost in the kiss. Before Severus had a chance to change his mind Remus dived into the kiss with fervor.

"You _will_ be punished for this." Severus muttered against his lips before moving to his neck. Remus closed his eyes, he had no idea just how much he missed this until this very second,

"Gods, I hope so!" He moaned loudly as Severus reacquainted himself with the sensitive spots on his neck,

"Bed!" Severus practically growled and Remus smiled again, this was better than he had hoped for. Pulling Severus along with him he made his way to the bedroom, the two men shedding each other's clothes on the way. Severus pushed Remus forcefully onto the bed, the other man bouncing slightly on the mattress. Remus crawled backwards towards the headboard, giving Severus a sultry look from under his lashes. Severus didn't waste any time climbing on the bed and straddling the other man. Bringing his head down he kissed Remus again, punishingly hard but Remus didn't mind one bit- Severus taking control like this was worth it, it always was.

"Lube!" Severus growled again, apparently his state allowed him to utter only the outmost important words, if any. Remus reached over to the bedside table, his fingers brushing over the drawer, unable to reach before Severus pushed his hand away and opened the drawer himself, tossing out several items that were inconsequential to his cause until he found what he was looking for. Squeezing the oily substance on his fingers Severus brought them down to Remus' arse, his onyx eyes boring into Remus' amber ones, holding him captive as he prepared the other man.

Remus' breath hitched when the first finger entered him, it's been a while since he's done that, he kept his eyes locked with Severus' clenching his teeth and rocking on the fingers inside him. Severus rubbed his fingers on that bundle of nerves deep inside Remus and watched with satisfaction as Remus' whole body tensed and his jaw clenched. It was a game, a struggle of power- he wanted to break Remus, wanted the other man to beg for his cock, he wanted to hear Remus make those utterly pornographic noises he could still hear sometimes in his dreams. He wanted Remus to want him more than he ever wanted anything or anyone in his life.

A slow smirk spread on his lips as he pumped three fingers into his lover, making sure to brush them against Remus' prostate at every outward stroke. Remus was breathing hard, biting on his lip to keep from crying out. This was Severus' idea of intimacy, torturing him into submission. A part of Remus wanted to hold on and beat Severus in his own game but he knew damn well how stubborn Severus could be. Besides there were three fingers currently pumping inside him and if those weren't going to be replaced with a cock soon he was going to explode.

"Damn it Severus! Enough with your stupid games!" He growled, panting, "Just fuck me already!" Severus' smirk blossomed into a full self-satisfied grin and Remus wanted to roll his eyes.

With his eyes still fixed on Remus, Severus pulled his fingers free and re-coated them with lube, then slicking his own cock. Almost lazily he muttered the protection spells that served in the magical world as condoms. Severus entered his lover at a slow torturing pace, knowing full well that Remus was already on edge. When he was fully sheathed inside Remus, Severus leaned forward and placed his hands on the werewolf's shoulders, preventing him from moving,

"Say it." He growled, his breath hitching a little now that his cock was surrounded with such intense heat. For a second Remus looked surprised, not sure what exactly Severus was after but then his jaw tightened and he exhaled slowly through his nose- the greasy bastard!

"Move," He hissed through clenched teeth, "Bloody move, _please_!" Severus let a rare smile take over his features- Remus was pretty sure he was one of the few who ever got to see that smile and on Severus and suddenly it didn't matter anymore who'd won the battle of wills or why they were battling in the first place. Tossing his head back, Remus finally let go, "Please, oh gods Severus, please move!" And Severus did. He set a fast almost brutal pace, letting Remus draw him in with the sheer abundance of his cries. Remus reached behind him to grab the headboard to give him some leverage against Severus' punishing thrusts. He was loving every second of this- it's been so long since someone had claimed him so wholly.

"T-touch me, Severus." Remus was panting hard, his words slurred a little and he was barely registering he was saying them, "You have to touch me, I'm so close, please babe, you've got to touch me!" Severus froze momentarily at hearing the long forgotten pet name, but the need was too great to dwell on it and instead he grabbed Remus' neglected cock with his slick fingers and started to pump it in time with his thrusts.

It didn't take long for Remus to explode and soon enough his whole body tensed, his muscles clamping hard around Severus. Severus watched Remus orgasm with fascination; it wasn't very often that he was treated to that sight, not even back when they were lovers in the seventh year. Then it was very hard to find a place that was not a dark corner against the wall. Severus tried his best to ride out the other man's climax but Remus' face, combined with the fact he hadn't been with anyone for quite some time were undoing him fast. He tossed his head backwards and came with a loud grunt, at the same time Remus did.

Taking a moment to come down form his orgasmic height Severus allowed himself one last look at the man lying under him. Remus had his eyes closed, his face relaxed, his whole body in fact seemed boneless with satisfaction, smiling in bliss like a big happy cat. Severus felt his heart clench in his chest, Remus was always so beautiful post-sex, his face so open and trusting. Every time they slept together in the past Severus felt like he was breaking the other man's heart simply because Severus couldn't share the feeling of pure trust. Remus used to say he had intimacy issues, and he was probably right but now they ere even worst than when he was Seventeen.

Looking down at Remus sprawled under him Severus suddenly panicked, he shouldn't have come here to confront Remus, he should have sucked it up or possibly go to Dumbledore. But he wasn't thinking and he just wanted to yell at Remus and possibly hex the other man for humiliating him like that, but as soon as Remus cracked up and he couldn't help himself. And now Remus looked like he did fifteen years ago and Severus just _knew_ he was going to break the other man's heart all over again. Pulling out of Remus' body and slumping sideways Severus tried to calm his fast beating heart and figure out a graceful exit.

Remus refused to open his eyes. It's been quite a while since he felt like this. Sex with Severus was always intense, like everything else with the other man. Every nerve end in Remus' body was tingling. He could feel Severus watching him but didn't want to see the look on the dark man's face, because he knew from experience it won't be the expression he wanted to see. As much as he cursed his inability to stop his own feelings from showing on his face he hated Severus' mask more. Even in the heat of sex Severus never fully let go. He felt Severus pull out of him and winced a little at the feeling. He was surprise to feel the bed dip next to him and Severus's warm body pressed against his side. Remus cast a sideways glance at his bed partner. Severus was sitting against the headboard, his whole body stiff and staring straight ahead. Remus sighed, he knew well enough that Severus wasn't one to cuddle after sex or just enjoy the afterglow but this was kind of insulting.

"Go." He said gravely and rolled on his side, sitting on the edge of the bed with his back turned to Severus.

"Excuse me?"

"You're dying to get the hell out of here, so go. I'm heading for the shower." Without waiting for a reply Remus got up from the bed. Severus watched his lover's naked back until the bathroom door closed behind him. The werewolf was right, he did want out, but not because he was disgusted with himself or Remus, he was just confused- confused by the emotions the whole encounter woke in him. He came to confront Remus about the whole Boggart debacle only to end up screwing the other man into the mattress! And that was _after_ he vowed to himself he would ignore the other man completely. It was as if Remus held some sort of power over him and if Severus didn't know any better he'd say it was werewolf pheromones or something of that nature. Severus sighed and dragged himself out of the bed. Looking around him at the mess on the floor he found his wand and started sorting out the clothes and folding Remus' garments neatly on a nearby chair before donning on his own black robes and leaving the room.

As soon as the bathroom door closed behind his back and Remus was finally free from the hold of those bottomless onyx eyes he felt like could breathe again. Walking to the shower he set the stream to the hottest temperature he could stand. What a mistake! Remus couldn't believe his own weakness; he wanted Severus so badly that he didn't even stop to think that the only thing Severus wanted from him was sex. Bloody hell, it was just like seventh year all over again- Remus was the smitten sod who was ready to declare his love to the world while Severus was just in on it for the admittedly, truly fantastic but still only, sex.

Remus lifted his head to the spray, hot water cascading on his face and perhaps mingling with a tear or two. Shaking his head to clear it Remus forced himself to get a grip. If Severus could just shag him and then leave like nothing happened he could too! He was old enough, and wise enough not to get sucked into that emotional roller coaster again. Washing himself quickly Remus got out of the shower, wrapping a towel around his waist. At the door he hesitated- the last thing he wanted right now was to see Severus. Pressing his ear to the door he listened, the room beyond was quiet and Remus realized he was acting like an idiot; this was _his_ room- if Severus was still there _he_ was the one who'd have to deal with the awkwardness.

Pulling the door open Remus stepped fully into the room with his head held high. His eyes fell on the chair and his folded clothes and he seemed to deflate- Severus was gone. A tiny part of him was disappointed to see the empty room but most of him was grateful for not having to deal with any of this at the moment. His eyes fell on the bed, the messy sheets soiled with the evidence of their recent activities. Remus could feel the anger searing through him and he strode to the bed and started pulling on the covers, removing the sheets angrily. A sudden 'pop' behind Remus startled him so much he turned and fell backwards on the bed. The house-elf seemed just as startled as Remus was and he squeaked,

"Gooly is so sorry sir! So sorry! Gooly is a bad house-elf, scaring Master like that!" He was wrenching his hands together and Remus realized the elf was about to embark in the usual house-elf behavior when they thought they've offended a human. Before the little creature could grab any item to use as a weapon to self-flagellate Remus cried out,

"No! Stop! Please, take these to the laundry," He pointed at the pile of soiled sheets on the floor, "And bring fresh ones. No self harm is needed!" He added firmly. The elf nodded and disappeared with the sheets. Remus collapsed into the chair his clothes were folded on, wrinkling them and not caring.


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

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It's been a few days since he and Severus had sex and Remus managed to convince himself he was mostly over the other man. At least he had plenty to occupy his mind with- what with the full moon looming closer. Dumbledore had promised to deliver a new potion that will help with the effects of his transformation and Remus was very curious to try it out. This morning he finally got the shipment of Grindylow for his next Defense against the Dark Arts class, and Remus was very happy to see what the creature could do. And best of all, it was a Hogsmede weekend which meant most of the students were out ransacking the village which left the castle considerably quieter.

Remus had spent him morning studying his new Grindylow, or rather making faces at him until the water demon got fed up with him, waved an angry fist at Remus and then went and burrowed himself in the weeds decorating his tank. Remus sighed and straightened up; silly little water demon was no fun anymore. He heard the sound of dragging footsteps and poked his head out of his office door,

"Harry?" The teenager nearly jumped at the sound of Remus' voice, clearly expecting to be rebuked for something. Remus smiled kindly, "What are you doing? Where are Ron and Hermione?" In the short time that Remus had been in the castle he had never seen Harry without his two friends, which might explain why the lad looked so lost,

"Hogsmede." Harry replied with a shrug, but Remus could see he was bummed about it. He knew about the permission slips, and all about McGonagall refusing to sign Harry's. Remus wished he could have done it himself but unfortunately Lily and James had not chosen _him_ to be Harry's guardian in case of their demise. Remus paused for a second before he smiled again,

"Ah, why don't you come in then? I've just received a delivery of Grindylow for our next lesson." He said proudly, but Harry gave him a blank look,

"A what?" Remus led Harry into the office and over to the tank where the little creature reemerged from his hiding place to look at the newcomer,

"Water demon," Remus explained, "We shouldn't have much difficulty with him, not after the kappas. The trick is to break his grip. You notice the abnormally long fingers? Strong, but very brittle." The Grindylow bared his teeth at Remus, insulted by his words. He shook his fist at him again and then dived back into his weeds. Remus looked quite pleased with himself. "Cup of tea?" Harry nodded and Remus went to the kettle and tapped it with his wand, before he went over to the shelf to retrieve a tin of tea,

"I've only got teabags I'm afraid, but I daresay you've had enough of tea leaves?" He looked shrewdly at Harry, who startled a little,

"How do you know?"

"Professor McGonagall told me. You're not worried are you?" Harry shook his head forcefully,

"No." For a long moment the two sat in silence sipping their tea. Remus could see the battle of thoughts on Harry's face, and he knew the boy was dying to ask about the Boggart lesson. He knew well enough that Harry wasn't a coward, and he was pretty sure the boy was hurt after he was denied his chance to tackle the Boggart, and frankly Remus couldn't blame him but he did have a responsibility to the other children. In the end Remus lowered his tea cup and decided to bite the bullet,

"Anything worrying you, Harry?"

"No." Was the automatic respond he got from the boy. Remus wanted to roll his eyes, teenage boys always felt they had to prove something and hide everything else. Remus was so glad he was not in that stage anymore. He followed Harry's gaze to the Grindylow tank where the wretched little creature was making rude gestures at them, "Yes." Remus looked back at Harry with surprise, he wasn't expecting the boy to actually open up, "You know that day we fought the Boggart?"

"Yes."

"Why didn't you let me fight it?" There was an accusation in his tone that Harry didn't notice or didn't bother to mask. Remus shrugged,

"I would have thought that was obvious, Harry." From the look on the teenager's face- it wasn't. In fact Harry looked quite shocked, like he was expecting Remus to deny everything or simply tell him to mind his own business,

"Why?"

"Well, I assumed that if the Boggart faced you, it would assume the shape of Lord Voldemort." Harry looked completely shocked, and Remus couldn't tell if it was because he realized Remus had thought about this possibility when planning the lesson or because he had said the forbidden name. The truth was, when Severus left him in seventh year to join with the Dark Lord Remus was so angry with the megalomaniac wizard that the wrath pushed away the fear of the man. He wasn't reckless or stupid enough to try and confront him, of course, but he wasn't going to shy away from saying his name just because people were daft enough to be scared by it.

"I… I remembered those Dementors." Harry confessed lowly. This took Remus by surprise, though when he took a moment to think about it he realized it actually made a lot of sense, to be afraid of fear itself. It was genius, and completely a Lily thing to do. Remus was very glad that despite the fact that Harry looked like James two he had Lily's fighting spirit.

"I see. Well, I'm impressed." He told Harry with a broad smile, "What you fear most is- fear itself. That's very wise, Harry." The boy ducked his head and brought the tea mug to his lips but Remus could see the faint blush decorating his cheeks and the slight curve of his lips that suggested Harry was preening at the compliment. "So you've been thinking that I didn't believe you were capable of fighting the Boggart?" Harry's blush deepened, proving Remus right,

"Well, yeah." The boy said lowly, but he looked much happier than he did a minute ago, as if a huge burden was loaded off his shoulders. It was a good look for him, Remus thought, "Professor Lupin, you know the Dementors…" Before Harry could complete his question there came a knock on the door. Remus frowned a little, Dumbledore was supposed to deliver his potion today but he thought he'd be along later.

"Come in." The door opened, but instead of Dumbledore smiling face Remus saw the dark form of Severus, holding out a big smoking goblet. Oh, that bastard Headmaster was up to his games again. As soon as Severus saw Harry his face darkened further. Remus took a deep breath and plastered on his best effort of a smile,

"Ah, Severus," Gods, even saying the man's name was painful, "Thank you very much, could you leave it here on the desk for me?" Severus' eyes were darting between Harry and Remus making both of them feeling equally uncomfortable. The silence stretched out and Remus felt compelled to fill it, and possibly explain Harry's presence in his room, "I was just showing Harry my Grindylow." He said and mentally kicked himself, why did he feel the need to justify his actions to Severus?

"Fascinating." Severus said in his most sarcastic tone, not even bothering to look at the tank. He hated Dumbledore for making him do that. He didn't mind brewing the stuff for Remus but he didn't want to be the one to actually deliver it. The truth was that for the first time in his life Severus was actually glad to see a member of the Potter family. Harry's presence in the room meant that he couldn't and wouldn't lose control again. "You should drink that directly, _Lupin_." Remus winced a little at the use of his last name, he wanted to yell at Severus, maybe even hit him but then again it was Severus' yelling that got them into this mess in the first place.

"Yes, yes I will." Remus breathed slowly through his nose, trying to calm his heart, Severus was playing with him, he was testing his patience.

"I made an entire cauldronful, if you need more." And he was being nice. Remus wanted to tear out his hair and scream. He needed to get Severus out of his room as soon as possible, or he'll lose control. Remus didn't even want to contemplate what will happen then.

"I should probably take some again tomorrow." He practically hissed through clenched teeth, "Thank you very much, _Severus._"

"Not at all." For a long moment the two stared at each other, the tension in the room got so heavy that even Harry could feel it, though he assumed it was rivalry and hatred. Eventually Severus broke the spell and moved to the door, exiting without saying goodbye. When the door closed behind his back Remus breathed a little sigh of relief. He hated that Severus had such an influence over him, and he hated himself for still wanting the man even after what happened last time. He caught Harry looking curiously at the goblet on his desk and forced on a smile,

"Professor Snape has very kindly concocted a potion for me," he said. "I have never been much of a potion-brewer and this one is particularly complex." He walked to the desk and picked up the goblet, sniffing at the contents, if the smell was any indication, the taste was going to be revolting. Oh joy. "Pity sugar makes it useless," he bemoaned before gathering up his courage and taking a sip. Yes, definitely revolting, he thought as his body was seized with a violent shudder of disgust,

"Why -?" Harry began and suddenly halted, like he remembered that the person he was talking to was a professor and not one of his mates. Remus smiled at him,

"I've been feeling a bit off-color, this potion is the only thing that helps." he explained without actually explaining anything, "I am very lucky to be working alongside Professor

Snape," Even as he was saying these words he wanted to snort, lucky indeed… "There aren't many wizards who are up to making it." He finished flatly and took another sip of the potion,

"Professor Snape is very interested in Dark Arts." Harry suddenly blurted out. Remus lowered his goblet and clenched his jaw to try and stifle a smile. It seemed that Harry was under the impression that Severus was trying to poison him out of office. If only things were that easy… "Some people reckon…" Harry stopped to actually think about what he was going to say next. Remus could see he was battling with himself, but unfortunately he seemed to lose, "Some people reckon he'd do anything to get the Defense against the Dark Arts job." It was very sweet of Harry to care for him but to be honest, the last person Remus was afraid for his life from in the castle was Severus, but he couldn't very well say anything to Harry about it. Instead he drained the goblet in one last swallow, and lowered it forcing himself to breathe through the nausea,

"Disgusting!" He declared loudly. He turned to Harry and smiled at him, "Well Harry, I'd better get back to work. See you at the feast later." He said with a smile. There was no need to tell Harry that all the work he's done this morning was annoying a Grindylow. Luckily, Harry was smart enough to know when he wasn't wanted,

"Right." He said, putting down his teacup. He cast one last glance at the empty goblet that was still smoking.

**~o0o~ ~SR~ ~o0o~ ~SR~ ~o0o~**

Throughout the rest of the day Harry was thoughtful. He kept replaying the talk with Professor Lupin in his head, especially the part where Snape walked into the room and Lupin drank the potion he handed him without hesitation. It was hard to believe that Snape would do something so low as to poison a colleague and right under Dumbledore's nose no less, but he couldn't believe Lupin was so naïve as to just drink it. Snape was evil, everybody knew that.

During the Halloween feast Harry watched Professors Lupin and Snape carefully, trying to see if one will keel over and the other rejoice. But Lupin didn't seem to be having any ill effects and in fact was laughing and chatting with Professor Flitwick. Snape however kept sending sideways glances at Remus' direction, which Harry didn't like one bit. Harry was sorely tempted to march up to the High Table and confess the whole plot to Dumbledore but he had a feeling Lupin wouldn't appreciate it very much, not to mention Hermione will have his head for not doing proper research. But Harry vowed to himself to keep a close eye on Snape from now on and see if he was really going to poison his favorite professor.

**~o0o~ ~SR~ ~o0o~ ~SR~ ~o0o~**

**A/N**: I downloaded a PDF version of the third book so that I could follow the plot more closely, only I think it isn't a very accurate copy so I don't know if the lines I used in the scene with Harry are the absolute correct ones, so don't hate me for it.

I didn't plan on putting Harry's POV in this story, but in the original book he's the one who decided to watch Severus closely to make sure he wasn't trying to kill Remus so I thought it would be funny, and give another perspective.

BTW, I'm assuming that everyone who's reading this has already read the book, or at least seen the movie (best of the bunch if you ask me) so I hope you're not too lost because I don't really explain everything.


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

**~o0o~ ~SR~ ~o0o~ ~SR~ ~o0o~**

After the Halloween feast Remus planned on going straight to his room, have a large whiskey and try and forget all about the encounter he had with Severus today. Unfortunately Professor McGonagall caught him before he could leave the Great Hall and engaged him in conversation. Remus tried to be polite, he really did but he was holding himself not to be rude to the woman and tell her to shove off and leave him alone.

He was just about ready to fake a yawn and excuse himself when a young Gryffindor rushed in, looking all pale and stammering that the Fat Lady had been attacked. Dumbledore swept out of the room at once and everyone followed. In front of the Gryffindor common room entrance Peeves the poltergeist was telling the Headmaster all about Sirius Black attacking the Fat Lady when she denied him entrance to the tower. Dumbledore turned to his teachers, his face grim and drawn,

"Search the castle." Were his orders and Remus for one was very happy to get away from the mess of hysterical children and being able to think. He was assigned to search the owlery and towers. Walking the corridors and shining his wand light into dark corners Remus wasn't sure whether he wanted to see the shine of Sirius' eyes or not. If he found Sirius lurking about he'd have to turn him in, and Remus was pretty sure he won't be able to do that.

He couldn't believe Sirius was here, in the castle, so close. It's been twelve years since he last saw his friend. Twelve years to the day since that horrible night in Godric's Hollow. Sirius had spent twelve years behind bars in Azkaban, until he escaped. Remus had read the papers, just like everyone else- Aurors even showed up at his doorstep asking if Sirius had been to see him. Remus couldn't believe that Sirius was really after Harry. Sirius loved Harry, he was his godfather! Remus had heard all the stories of Sirius' betrayal of Lily and James, being their secret keeper and turning them over to the Dark Lord, but deep down in his heart he always believed that Sirius was innocent. Yes he was reckless, and yes, sometimes his pranks were very dangerous but Sirius Black was never a dark wizard! Hell, the man escaped and turned his back to his own Voldemort supporting family when he was sixteen!

But none of this made sense to Remus, Sirius knew that Hogwarts was the safest place for Harry, where he was protected around the clock; if he wanted to kidnap the boy and hand him over he should have done it over the summer. And if he wasn't after Harry then who or what else was in the Gryffindor tower that Sirius could possibly want? Unless the twelve years Sirius had spent in Azkaban broke his mind completely. Remus hoped that wasn't the case, he lost Sirius twelve years ago and it would be a real shame if Sirius came back not remembering who he is. If he was insane as well as dangerous he'd probably face a far worse fate than Azkaban when caught.

Severus watched Remus' face closely when Peeves was telling the Headmaster it was Black behind the attack. The werewolf paled considerably and Severus felt his heart clenching painfully. He recognized this feeling- he hadn't felt like that in over fifteen years and he hated feeling it now. He was jealous. Severus had always hated and envied the closeness and comradery the Marauders shared, and most of all he hated the way Remus and Sirius Black were close. Severus accused Remus of being in love with his best friend on several occasions but Remus always brushed his jealousy aside saying Severus was crazy if he thought Remus would consider Sirius Black as a bed partner. But now Black was at large and close at hand and Severus was reduced to feeling hurt and jealous and he hated both Black and Remus for making him feel this way.

After several hours of searching Severus went to report to the Headmaster of their lack of success. The anger was still there, steadily bubbling and boiling, every time he closed his eyes Severus could picture Remus being pressed against some wall while Black was kissing and touching him all over, both laughing at Severus behind his back and plotting to humiliate him in front of the entire school again. And once the green eyed monster sank its teeth in it was vicious and ugly,

"You remember the conversation we had, Headmaster, just before… the start of term? It seems- almost impossible that Black could have entered the school without help. I did express my concerns when you appointed…"

"I do not believe a single person inside this castle would have helped Black enter it," Dumbledore cut through Severus' words, fixing his potions Professor with a stern look that meant he'd best drop the subject.

Harry lay with his eyes open, staring at the enchanted ceiling from the depth of his squashy purple sleeping bag, thoughts racing through his head. Sirius Black was after him, he wanted to kill him. Finish off the job, everyone said. Harry had seen the picture of Sirius Black all over Diagon Alley, the man looked insane, barking mad and Harry had no doubt Sirius Black would kill him in a heartbeat. But from some reason Harry wasn't afraid. He _was_ scared; of course he was, but not as much as most of the other students- even though he was the supposed target. In the two years since he found out he was wizard he already came face to face with the Dark Lord once, fought off a Troll, a Basilisk and a demon dog. He was pretty confident that with Ron and Hermione's help he'll be able to conquer this new threat as well.

He heard footsteps and closed his eyes quickly, pretending to be asleep. Harry listened to the Headmaster's conversation with Percy Weasley, and then Snape had joined them. Harry gritted his teeth in anger at Snape's thinly veiled attempt to tarnish Remus' name. It didn't take a genius to see how much Snape hated Remus and Harry was pretty sure the man will stop at nothing to get Professor Lupin out of his way. Professor Lupin, who was always so nice to Harry, and who was pretty much the only adult in his life who believed in him. Well, if Snape wanted to get rid of Professor Lupin then he'd have to go though Harry first!

**~o0o~ ~SR~ ~o0o~ ~SR~ ~o0o~**

The next day all the students were sent back to their dorms and life returned more or less to normal. The Fat Lady's portrait was sent to be repaired and in the meantime was replaced with the portrait of Sir Cadogan who was not only barking mad, but extremely annoying as well.

The full moon came. Remus, for possibly the first time in his life, was actually looking forward to it- he was curious to find out what Severus' potion will do, even though he didn't have much hope he was curious. He folded his clothes neatly and placed them inside the wardrobe and sealed it shut with magic. The Wolfsbane potion was designed to allow him to keep in control, at least mentally and Remus had decided he didn't much felt like going to the Shrieking Shack tonight and opted to stay in his rooms but he still took precautions and stashed away any valuables in case the potion didn't work. The door to his rooms was also locked and heavily warded.

Remus took a deep breath, anticipating the pain. It's been so long he couldn't even remember a time when the pain wasn't there. Every month without fail his skin would split, his bones would break and rearrange themselves in a very unnatural way and his brain would be taken over by the beast that was always there, lurking the shadows of his consciousness, growling, awaiting its turn.

Sitting crossed legged in the center of the room Remus waited, just as he did every month. Every month he dreaded the moment. It wasn't just the painful transformation; it was the loss of control. He'd black out when the pain became too intense and would wake up the next morning to a trashed room with no recollection of what had happened. That was why he always made sure to be behind heavily locked doors every month.

Remus waited but the pain never came. Instead there was a tingling sensation spreading all over his body making his skin crawl. Remus' breathing sped up, panic rising inside him, what if Severus somehow got the potion wrong and he was being poisoned to death? Technically he knew that Dumbledore and probably Madame Pomfrey were monitoring him to make sure all goes well but right now it wasn't much of a comfort. Spreading himself on the cool stone floor, with his face turned towards the ceiling Remus closed his eyes. He hoped that if it _was_ poisoning that it would be as painless as possible. He's been suffering enough in his lifetime so it would only be fair that his death would be merciful.

The tingling continued, intensifying. It wasn't painful so much as really, really annoying. Like ants crawling all over his skin causing Remus to shake his limbs every few seconds trying to get rid of the irritating feeling.

And suddenly- it stopped.

Remus stayed motionless for a few seconds, just to make sure it was really gone before he gingerly opened his eyes. He was still in his room but everything looked different, everything smelled different. Rolling over Remus found himself on all fours looking at his hands, only those weren't hands- they were paws! Remus tried to quell the panic that was rising again. So he did transform, which was expected, only this time he didn't lose consciousness. He was wide awake and in the shape of a big dog. _He was in control of the wolf! _

First and foremost he trotted over to the mirror, curiosity burning. He'd never seen the wolf before. Remus blinked his eyes at the image, through the wolf's eyes everything seemed dimmer, less colorful but he could still tell his fur was light brown like his hair, and thick. He wasn't bad looking as a wolf, he decided, handsome even. It probably helped that he wasn't foaming at the mouth or baring his teeth, as he probably would have done if the wolf had been in charge. The only telling sign that was separating him from a real wolf were the red eyes.

Remus took a deep breath and was almost floored by the assault of smells. All over the place were trails of it looking like ribbons all around him. There was candle wax and tea leaved and musty stone small that Remus was quite glad he couldn't smell in his human form. He started sniffing around following a path that he found interesting and then abandoning it when he found a smell that intrigued him more. It was fun but at the same time he was glad to be confined to his own rooms- he could only imagine what a castle full of hormones ridden teenagers would smell like. Remus wrinkled his snout in disgust.

He continued exploring his rooms, noting some very interesting discoveries, such as magic having a smell! Well, not so much a smell as a sensation, tickling his nose. That was probably why magical people rarely kept canines- a dog would go insane in a magical house. When he reached the bed Remus stopped- by now he could recognize his own scent so he instinctively knew there was another scent mingled with it, Severus. Remus turned away feeling angry all of a sudden, damn you Severus! He thought furiously, baring his teeth at the bed, coming here and leaving your scent all over the place without even caring or planning to come back. Remus turned away from the bed in disgust, just when he managed to convince himself to forget what had taken place on this mattress and finally moved back there after a couple of nights on his sofa Severus still managed to ruin everything. Without even being there.

Remus forced himself to turn away and walk towards his office. He was angry, mostly at himself because a part of him wanted to stay and sniff the bed again and immerse himself in the memories but Remus refused to cave in. instead he trotted into his office, taking in the familiar and soothing smells of parchment and ink- smells that were comforting even in his human form.

After he finished exploring the place Remus decided to take advantage of the fact of him being in control rather than the wolf and go to sleep. Hopefully tomorrow morning he'd wake up less exhausted and maybe a bit less sore. Looking around thoughtfully he decided that the best place to sleep in was under his desk. It was dark and cavernous and made Remus feel safe. He stretched and wriggled about until he found a comfortable position, laying his head on his front paws and closed his eyes. All in all, this was a _good_ moon.

The next morning Remus opened his eyes and let out a soft groan. Last night folding into the space under his desk in his wolf form seemed like a really good idea but now he couldn't remember why. Every muscle in his body hurt- both from the transformation, and from the uncomfortable position, being six feet tall he didn't fit in under his desk quite as well. Very slowly he unfolded his limbs until he was lying sprawled on his office floor, his legs still under the desk, breathing hard. This feeling of pain he knew well. Forcing himself to move Remus managed to drag himself over towards the bedroom, holding onto furniture for support before he finally collapsed face first into the bed. He had a couple of hours before Madame Pomfrey would come to check on him.

**A/N:** I know that this is already Halloween, and the year starts in September which means there was at least one full moon already, but it wasn't mentioned in the book and this one was so the way I see it- last full moon Severus was still working on the potion and therefore Remus couldn't take it, making this his first wolfsbaned moon.

I know that in the film Remus' werewolf's shape was not exactly a wolf, but I've always pictured him as one so he's going to be one here. All werewolves have red eyes (in this story anyway) and fur in the color of the person's hair.


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

**~o0o~ ~SR~ ~o0o~ ~SR~ ~o0o~**

Three days after the full moon Remus was back in his classroom. He's heard all about the disastrous Quidditch game, the Dementors showing up and Harry falling off his broom, but he didn't have time to talk to the boy yet. Right now he was trying to deal with the loud complaints of the children as they told him what Severus had been up to while he was recuperating. Oh, the bastard!

Remus did a remarkable job of holding it together throughout the day, fixing Severus' messes but if the man wanted war, war is what he was going to get! Stomping through the halls Remus made his way to the dungeons, ready to give Severus a piece of his mind. This was not funny! It was true that most students weren't clever enough to do the math and put two and two together but there were bright ones like Hermione- or Ravenclaws. He could not believe Severus would stoop so low. After all, he made it quite clear he didn't want anything from Remus and Remus was not about to chase the man and beg him for anything.

In front of Severus' door Remus stopped to take a deep breath. He wouldn't just barge into the other man's office like some hooligan, he needed to be the level-headed one since Severus tended to be rather vicious with words and Remus wasn't going to fall into the other man's verbal traps if he could help it. Knocking on the door he tried to formulate his thoughts to bring his point across in the best and quickest possible way. Severus looked up from the cauldron he was working and the corner of his mouth quirked, Remus was back.

"Come in." He called and the door opened to admit Remus into his room. The werewolf's mouth was set in a thin line and his eyes were narrowed,

"You taught my students about werewolves?" He demanded with no preamble. Severus shrugged and turned back to his potion as if the conversation was already boring him,

"You had to be punished." He answered simply. Remus was quite taken back by that. Was all of this just a game to Severus? So they were playing a very dangerous, yet extremely sexy game and apparently this was round two. Well, this game was for two and now it was Remus' move.

"That's very irresponsible of you, you know." He said, his tone dropping low and causing a shiver to run up Severus' spine. He took a deep breath and turned to face his lover, his dark eyes blazing.

"You put me in a dress," He drawled and Remus' lips quirked up uncontrollably. Severus' eyes narrowed, "An ugly one."

"Oh, for pit's sake, it wasn't me…" Remus cried out, no longer able to keep a straight face when the image of Severus in Neville's grandmother's clothes popped into his head, "I'm sorry but it was funny!" Severus' eyes narrowed even further, his nostrils flaring in the effort to keep a stoic face in front of Remus' whose joviality was rather catching,

"An eagle hat!" He stated quietly, accentuating every syllable.

"Gods, Severus why do you have to act like such a petulant child?" Remus cried crossing his arms rather petulantly over his chest and stomping his foot. Severus raised an eyebrow at him,

"_Now_ who's being a petulant child?" Instead of answering Remus strode forward to push Severus back against the wall and claimed Severus' lips. Severus let the werewolf push him, his lips turning up in a rare smile before he hungrily returned the kiss. When they surfaced for air, Remus laid his forehead against Severus',

"Gods, I hate you!" He muttered. Severus smirked, he was vexing the tawny-haired man so much and he loved every second of it. Until Remus reappeared in the castle Severus had no idea how numb he had become. Remus caused his heart to speed up and him blood to gush, he made him feel _alive_!

"I know." Severus let a smug smile take over his face but Remus quickly wiped it away with his lips. Severus pulled away from the kiss and grabbed Remus by his shabby robes, dragging him behind towards the bedroom. When they reached the bed Remus yanked Severus' hand loose from his robes and pushed the other man face first into the mattress.

He pulled his wand out of his pocket, spelling both his and Severus' robes away, before climbing on top of his bed partner. Severus looked over his shoulder at his lover. It wasn't very often that Remus took control like that, and while Severus didn't object on principle to bottoming he usually felt more comfortable being in full control of any given situation. But seeing the look on Remus' face, the feral fire in his eyes caused Severus to want to submit in the most compelling way. He wasn't even sure what it was that brought the change in Remus. Even when he was upset the man wasn't usually this way. It could be the aftermath of the full moon, or maybe the fact that the wolf was not let out to play this month. Whatever it was, Severus was quite excited to find out how this will unfold.

Remus, it seemed, had gone into a very different level of consciousness it seemed. His eyes were now closed, and it seemed as if he was letting himself feel Severus with all his other senses. His hands were kneading the muscles on Severus' buttocks. Severus closed his eyes and gave himself to the feeling. Remus always had the most amazing hands, the long tapered fingers that could unknot any hurt in his muscles.

Severus could feel those magic fingers inching their way to his crack and suddenly Severus panicked. Remus was angry and dominating and right now he was out of it enough to just go for it. Dry fuck was the last thing Severus wanted. Raising to his elbows he looked over his shoulder, and nearly barked at the other man,

"Lube!" Remus' eyes popped open at the sound of Severus' voice,

"Don't tell me what to do!" He growled. Without hesitation Remus lifted his hand and brought it down onto Severus' left buttock with a resounding, satisfying smack. Severus froze as his brain tried to paste together what had just happened. Because it sounded like Remus had just… spanked him! But Remus wouldn't be that stupid, would he? The heat spreading across the left part of his arse proved that Remus was indeed in a reckless, dangerous mood. Severus slowly turned over onto his back; Remus instinctively rose to his knees to allow the movement.

"Did you just spank me?" Severus demanded in a low, dangerous voice. Remus lifted his eyebrow playfully. The feral gleam was gone from his eyes only to be replaced with wicked amusement and frankly Severus didn't know which was worse.

"So what if I did?"

"Don't do that again!" Severus spat, just about ready to cross his arms over his chest in petulance. Remus looked at the man sprawled under him. The man had a lot of nerve to make demands when he was lying under him like that. He leaned forward, covering Severus and pinning him down to the mattress,

"Or what?" He purred in Severus ear, smiling at the shudder the he could feel running the length of the other man's body. Instead of answering Severus grabbed his lover's head with both hands and pushed it down to indicate to Remus where he wanted his mouth. Remus shook his head in amusement, that was such a Severus thing to do, but he wasn't going to fight it because he knew from experience that when pushed to the corner when it came to sex Severus tended to bolt, literally. And right now Remus didn't much feel like wanking by himself. Besides, Severus had such a nice cock and it's been far too long since he had his mouth on it.

Severus let his eyes slide close, oh Merlin, this was heaven. Skilled cock-suckers were not that hard to come by and most of them were quite happy to perform their art in the bathrooms of the clubs Severus frequented but there was always something about Remus' mouth that was even more amazing. Remus knew what he liked. He wasn't trying out different techniques in hopes that one will work- he already knew what worked best, and more importantly- he _remembered_, and apparently gotten even better over the years. Severus pushed the thought of how much practice Remus actually had over the years to the back of his mind determined to enjoy what was he was given.

Remus watched Severus' face intently; it was so amazing to see him unwind like this. Severus was a control freak, pure and simple. Even when he was having sex he was in control. His brows would be pulled together and there would be a small crease between them. All his movements were measured and controlled. During a blowjob, that was the only time Severus allowed himself to let go of that tight rein and relax. And Remus was that cause of that! The werewolf was preening inside his head- gods, Severus' face right now, that was one of the sexiest things he'd ever seen and Remus had to press the palm of his hand on his cock to stave his own climax, he was given a very rare gift here and he wasn't about to waste it by coming too soon.

Working his tongue around the hard shaft in his mouth Remus found it quite disconcerting that he could still remember how to make Severus moan. It meant that no matter what told himself over the years and who he tired to build a life with, everything always came back to Severus Snape. At that moment he decided to retake control over the situation, he was not going to let Severus win, not this time!

Increasing his efforts Remus was soon rewarded with a low, sultry moan and a mouthful of cum. Swallowing hard Remus smacked his lips with satisfaction, then rose to his knees and crawled back along Severus' body, coming up to kiss the other man. But before Remus could touch his lips to Severus', the other man turned his head away in disgust.

"If I wanted to taste my own cum I'd wank and lick my fingers." Severus said in his quiet, acidic tone. Remus jaw tightened and his nostrils flared. Without a word he flipped Severus over onto this stomach and summoned the lube to him. He prepared Severus quickly, no longer caring what the other man felt. When he guided his cock into Severus' body Remus was overwhelmed by the tightness gripping every inch of his cock. Severus was tight like a bloody virgin. Remus took a couple of deep breaths to hold off his peak. When he was sure he could move without exploding he did. His thrusts were deep and fast, this was not about making Severus feel good, this was about him, about getting Remus off with the least amount of heartbreak.

Remus came with a loud moan and one last forceful thrust. He slumped forward, holding himself on his hands and knees and breathing hard. After about a minute he straightened up, Severus' face was still buried in the pillow, his back raising and falling rapidly. Remus pulled out slowly and Severus winced visibly at the movement. Remus moved to sit beside his lover, he could feel the lethargy of the afterglow sipping in but he was still on edge, this whole thing was still too new and too volatile and he didn't know how to act.

When Severus felt Remus lifting he turned onto his back, his face flushed red with the oxygen deficiency and his cock hard again. Remus looked at Severus before lowering his eyes to Severus' cock; at least _somebody_ was happy to see him.

"Are you going to stare at my hard-on all day or are you going to do something about it?" Remus startled, he wasn't planning on doing anything but the sneer and acid in Severus' voice were causing the anger to resurface. Without a word he grabbed the lube and then brought slick fingers to Severus' cock. Severus had been so close already and combined with rough pace Remus was setting he knew he couldn't last, so he didn't try to fight the feeling.

Remus watched Severus' face intently as he came, it was so amazing to witness, the way Severus' whole body went rigid, muscles tight and stiff, the way the veins pulsed in his neck and his Adam's apple bobbed as he bit his tongue and tried to keep silent. When Severus finally opened his eyes he saw Remus watching him. Severus couldn't read the emotion in the werewolf's eyes but it felt far too intense and intimate for his liking. Remus lifted his spunk covered fingers to his mouth, sucking his index finger in. It wasn't fair, Severus thought, Remus knew just how sexy he was when he did that sort of thing.

Pulling out his finger with a loud pop Remus smirked, and licked his lips. Severus wanted nothing more than to grab the other man and ravish him whole but instead he turned his head away pointedly and started reciting tables of potions ingredients in his head to avoid temptation.

Remus' smirk slipped from his face, he looked down at his soiled hand and then back at Severus. He felt dirty all of a sudden and not at all in a good way. Reaching forward Remus angrily smeared the remains of the spunk from his hand on Severus' chest, catching the other man by surprise, before rising from the bed. Remus quickly gathered his clothes, and left Severus' bed chamber without bothering to get dressed. Severus watched his lover leave, his mouth gaped with shock at the speed things went sour. With a sigh he rose from the bed and headed towards the shower.

Remus crossed Severus' quarters angrily, only stopping long enough to throw his outer robe on himself. It was late enough so that no students were meant to be outside but it still wouldn't do for him to be seen wondering the halls buck naked. Lucky for him Remus managed to make it to his rooms with what was left of his dignity intact. Tossing the pile of clothes on the floor on his way to the liquor cabinet he poured himself a generous helping of firewhiskey and slumped into his favorite chair half naked and not caring.

Why did Severus have such an effect on him? How was it possible that the man still had the same hold over him even fifteen years later? Swirling the amber liquid inside his glass Remus smiled sadly. Back in the seventh year, after Severus so callously brushed him aside Remus had been depressed for days. He hardly ate or slept and took to roaming the halls hollowly like one of the castle ghosts.

His friends had decided, after nearly a week of that, to do something about it. Their brilliant idea had been to smuggle a couple of bottles of firewhiskey into the castle and drink themselves into a stupor. Till this very day Remus couldn't remember a thing about that night. What he did remember was waking up in the hospital wing after having his stomach pumped due to alcohol poisoning. Turns out that drinking a full bottle of firewhiskey after five days of barely eating or sleeping was not the best of ideas…

On the plus side, the alcohol poisoning did cure his Severus induced melancholy and he came back to his senses right in time for his NEWT's. It took Remus a couple of years more before he could drink again without the mare thought of alcohol making him physically ill.

Gods, he missed his friends. If James or Sirius had been here they'd have told him what a giant fool he was making of himself. Scratch that, if James or Sirius had been here they would probably pull a hideous, humiliating and probably near fatal prank on Severus. What he needed right now was Lily; she'd know what advice to give him so he won't feel like a complete idiot anymore.

But Lily was dead, James was dead and Sirius was in no shape to console him so Remus had to figure it all out for himself. He hated being so weak, he hated the fact that Severus didn't care for him as much as he did for Severus. Tilting his head back Remus gulped the rest of his drink, the smooth rich blend burning its way down pleasantly. Encouraged by the firewhiskey Remus reached a decision- if Severus wanted sex with no strings, Remus would give him just that. Somewhere in the back of his mind Remus knew this decision will come back to haunt him but right now he didn't care. He was young enough and horny enough and Severus was his best bet in the castle.

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**A/N: **According to HP-Lexicon (where I get all my facts, because someone actually bothered to do all the research for me…) both Remus and Severus were born in 1960, which makes them 33 years old in the time 'Prisoner of Azkaban' takes place.


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

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Severus sat at the Christmas feast, well, not much of a feast as it hosted less than 15 people and definitely not much fun as it included the ever so annoying 'Golden Trio', but Dumbledore made it very clear that Severus had to show up or else he'd be stuck doing nightly rounds for the rest of the year. Severus hated it when Dumbledore resorted to dirty tricks in order to get him to comply. It wasn't like he was any good at social appearances anyway- he certainly wasn't spreading any cheer around!

And then, to make things worse, Professor Trelawney drifted into the hall, looking as batty as usual and started making her over-dramatic ridiculous premonitions about someone dying, which were getting really old by now, to be honest. Though, Severus was taking enormous fun at the diggings Professor McGonagall through her way. Most kids thought McGonagall was a humorless stiff, and she sure lived up to that description but that didn't mean she couldn't turn very nasty and sarcastic when she wanted. Severus managed to tune out most of Trelawney's babbling until she asked about Remus. Ears perked and jaw clenching Severus seriously wanted to thump the stupid woman.

"I doubt that Professor Lupin is in any immediate danger." Dumbledore broke the brewing argument between the witches cheerfully, "Severus, you've made the potion for him again?" Severus glared at his boss, who gave him one of his bright smiles that could make just about anyone want to kill him.

"Yes Headmaster." He replied through gritted teeth, thanking his years as a death-eater for being able to retain his mask of indifference. He _did_ bring Remus his potion, just as the Headmaster ordered, but what the Headmaster didn't know (thankfully) was that Remus had slammed him against the wall for a quick, rough session of some of the hottest angry sex Severus has ever had. Remus was always wilder the closer they got to the full moon and Severus winced slightly when the scratches on his back made contact with the back of his chair.

He could definitely get used to that, going over once or twice a week to see Remus, and have some mind-blowing sex to keep him grounded and satisfied. He wondered how the hell he survived this far, because going to all those seedy clubs was a real hassle- especially when Dumbledore was giving him disapproving looks every time he caught him coming back from one. But now he and Remus were on the same page, and even though coming to him on the eve of the full moon was kind of taking advantage of Remus' unfortunate state he was very willing to go into the 'no strings attached' sort of ordeal which suited Severus just fine. Feelings were such a hindrance, and he was very glad that Remus finally grew up to realize it as well.

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Remus wasn't at all sure whether he was glad the holidays were finally over. On the one hand, he had plenty of time to recuperate from the moon, undisturbed and without having to worry that Dumbledore would let Severus teach his class again. On the other hand, the half empty castle and long free hours made it a lot harder to avoid bumping into Severus- not to mention the fact that Severus was actually _happy_ the place was empty. A happy Severus was a good thing, but at the same time quite disconcerting, as if the world was tilting on its axes.

His students seemed quite happy to see him back at least, and that was always nice. After class with the third year students Harry timidly approached him to remind him of his promise to teach him how to defend against Dementors, though Remus wasn't at all sure he was the right man for the job and he certainly hated Dumbledore for not taking care of Harry's well being properly, he couldn't let the boy down, so they scheduled a meeting for the following Thursday.

The lesson with Harry went pretty much as Remus thought it would. After some effort he tracked down another Boggart for them to practice on, and Harry, always eager to get to the finish line without bothering to run the whole course was pretty frustrated nothing substantial happened. Remus could definitely understand why he wanted to beat the Dementors so bad, hearing your parents screaming in their last moments on earth was no picnic to anyone. Part of Remus wanted to ask Harry was it was like, what did he hear because let's face it, he knew Lily and James a lot better than Harry ever did and he missed his friends like hell, but asking Harry would be insensitive.

When Harry asked if he knew Sirius Remus managed to avoid telling him more than a simple yes, talking about Sirius was even more painful than talking about Lily and James. Sirius was still alive, was still around, closer than ever if the reports were to be believed and yet far too far for being any help to Remus. Everyone thought Sirius was the one who sold Lily and James to Voldemort, everyone except Remus, but saying he thought the notorious traitor Sirius Black was innocent was not going to earn him any popular points and probably draw some unwanted ministry attention to himself. Even Harry seemed to think Sirius was to blame, and Remus wondered if he somehow heard the full story because he was pretty sure Dumbledore never bothered to tell him why Sirius was supposedly after him in the first place.

Between his regular classes, Harry's after school Patronus lessons and the full moons Remus hardly had time to breath, but still he somehow found himself week after week either in Severus' bed or with Severus in his, and somehow he managed to convince himself he didn't care even when he was left alone afterwards feeling disgusted with himself for practically whoring himself for the dark man.

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Severus hated to lose; it was a well known fact around the castle. It was bad enough that every student thought he was a loser for being passed over for DADA job year after year, but now he lost to Remus of all people, on a bloody Quidditch match! Whatever possessed him to bet against the ex-Gryffindor on whether his former house will take down Ravenclaw or not? True, the score of the game would affect the standings of his own house team but still…

He should have known something wasn't right when Remus agreed to a ten galleon bet- the man had hardly two Knuts to rub together after all! But Potter showing up with Firebolt was definitely cheating!

Severus was pissed, but not pissed enough to pass on some consolation sex, or in Remus' case, victory sex. And Remus had been happy, he was smiling like a lunatic the whole time, which should have been really annoying but was mostly… sweet, and Severus promised himself some serious cold showering afterwards for even thinking up that word! But seriously, who cared about stupid words when Remus was looking so happy to be near him. Severus was working slowly, determined to feel every movement sliding in and out of Remus' body, cataloging every little moan the other man made, and watching every nuance of happiness that was floating through Remus' expression. This felt so good, it was beyond amazing.

Severus could feel how close Remus was getting to an orgasm, his body was tensing, the veins in his neck was standing up and even that was a turn on for Severus, grabbing Remus' cock he started pumping it, increasing the tempo of his own thrusts as he was getting closer too. Remus let go first, the combined teasing of his cock and prostate was too much for the man and he let go with a deep moan, spilling his seed all over himself and Severus. Severus pumped his hips once or twice more before he too was coming hard. Collapsing on top of his sated lover Severus didn't even have time to pull out of Remus before a loud knock was heard on the door,

"Remus! REMUS!" Remus startled at hearing Professor McGonagall's voice breaching his post-coital bliss and roughly pushed Severus away, the other man's cock to slip out of his body messily, causing both of them to wince. Remus quickly pulled his dressing gown around his naked body, rushing to the door, limping slightly. He pulled the door open, revealing a white-faced, distressed looking Minerva on the other side of the door,

"What's wrong?" He asked. The woman gave him a sidelong glance taking in his disheveled appearance,

"Were you sleeping?" She asked in a tone of voice that suggested she very much doubted it, but before Remus had time to feel embarrassed by her implication she shook her head, "You need to come over quick, Black has attacked! Get some clothes on and get to the Great Hall!" She snapped and left without waiting for an answer. Remus blinked in shock, Sirius? Attacking? Who exactly? Cold fear gripped Remus, if Sirius truly lost his mind and attacked Harry no jury or judge in the world will care if he was innocent or not!

Running back to his room he suddenly stopped seeing Severus still naked in bed, he had completely forgot the other man was still there, oh no! Professor McGonagall was probably on her way to the dungeons to look for Severus, and she's not going to find him in his rooms!

"Get up! You have to get dressed and leave, right now!" He cried, picking up garments from the floor and tossing them at the man on the bed, not really caring if they're Severus' clothes or his,

"What's going on Lupin?" Severus asked, his voice going cold to cover for the slight panic that was rising at seeing Remus running around like a headless chicken, "What did McGonagall want?" Remus stopped in his frantic effort to get decent and looked over at Severus, who still hasn't made a move to cover himself,

"She said Sirius attacked someone, we need to get to the Great Hall, now _get dressed_!" Severus didn't wait to be told again, grabbing his clothes he started to put them on, sending glances at Remus to gauge his reaction. He was pale, and worried and Severus wondered if it was because they were going to chase down Black and probably give him a Dementor's kiss- was Remus upset that they'd catch Black or was he worried they won't? Every time Black's name cropped up Remus' eyes clouded in a sort of wistful despair and frankly, Severus hoped they'd hang the bastard dead!

Remus was seriously worried, everybody wanted to see Sirius get caught, and Remus knew nobody was going to bother with a fair trial once they catch him, and so he was torn again as to what to do. When they reach the Great Hall, separately of course, Dumbledore paired all the staff members in order to conduct a thorough search of the castle and grounds. He flat out refused to let the Dementors enter the school and so the teachers had to do all the leg work.

Severus found himself paired with none other than Remus and he knew this wasn't the time to play petty games but really, him and Remus going to look for Sirius Black? Together? Those awful lemon drops Dumbledore was insisting on feeding to everyone were finally melting a hole in his brain! Taking a deep breath he followed Remus out to their assigned patrolling route, which luckily was outside, so at least he got some reprise from the stench of fear that was hovering inside the castle.

The two walked in silence for a while, each absorbed in his thoughts. Severus glanced at Remus' profile from time to time, trying to guess what the other man was thinking. He hated Sirius Black, with every bone in his body- he hated how he used to be so sure and cocky back in school, the way he and Potter strutted around the castle like they bloody owned it, playing cruel tricks on him just because he wasn't part of their retched group, how he was so good looking girls practically threw themselves at his feet for a smidgen of attention, but mostly he hated Black for the effect he had on Remus. Always had. Remus would gladly be sucked in into any sort of foolery Black managed to concoct in that dark and dangerous mind of his and even after he'd started sleeping with Severus it was always 'Sirius this' and 'Sirius that' and right now there was nothing more Severus wanted than to get his hands on that man and physically strangle him!

"I _will_ stop you if you try to help Black escape." He spoke up, his voice penetrating the silence of the night and causing Remus to startle from his thoughts,

"Why would I do that?" Remus frowned, it was true he didn't want Sirius to be caught, but he too needed answers.

"I'm sure you have your… _reasons_." Severus' voice was dripping with malice and Remus stopped on his tracks and glared at him, suddenly realizing what Severus was referring to,

"Merlin! Not this again!" He snapped, pulling Severus to a halt and turning the other man to face him, none too gently, "For the last time, Sirius and I were just friends!" He intoned the words slowly, as if Severus was an idiot, because really- that had gone too far, it's been 15 years since they graduated from this very school and Severus was still holding a grudge over something that never actually happened! He was never in love with Sirius, sure he loved him as his very good friend and one that did more than a lot of other people to keep his secret and help him out but this insane jealousy on Severus' part was just too much! "This is ridiculous!" He snapped, "We're never going to find Sirius!"

"How do you know?" Severus' soft velvety voice was loaded with suspicion and Remus realized he said too much. Nobody knew about Sirius' animagus abilities- not Dumbledore, not Severus and most definitely not the ministry, and the least Remus could do, for old times' sake was keep Sirius' secret like he kept his.

"He probably had inside help." He said instead, because that was the general idea these days. It was true that Sirius could turn into a big dog but even dogs had their limits when it came to breaking and entering a well guarded castle.

"From you?" Remus blinked at his lover, shocked that Severus would even say such a thing,

"Yes, Severus," He said, his tone dripping with sarcasm, "I sneaked Sirius Black into the castle while you were screwing me into the mattress, what a great diversion, _right_?" Severus' jaw clenched,

"Don't try to be funny, Lupin!" He snapped, feeling defensive and hating it. Remus was usually very mild-mannered and rarely got angry, but tonight the wolf was absolutely seething and while it was hot and everything Severus wasn't at all sure how they got to this state from how happy Remus was after Gryffindor's victory.

"Fine!" Remus suddenly shouted, "I've had enough! I'm cold and hungry and this is stupid!" Severus blinked at the raging man, "I'm going back!" Remus announced and turned on his heel, marching towards the castle angrily. Severus watched him leave before realizing he was standing alone in the middle of the night on the freezing lawns. Shrugging he made his way back to the castle as well, wondering what the hell has gotten Remus' knickers in such a twist.


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

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The following week Remus hardly spoke to Severus. He was still angry with him about the whole Sirius thing. Fifteen years! It's been fifteen bloody years since they left school and nothing has changed! Severus was still jealous over something that never was and frankly Remus has had enough of that. It wasn't his fault that he got along with people and actually found friends who cared about him, while Severus managed to alienate almost every single person that came into contact with him.

And to accuse Remus of having an affair with Sirius? The man who once got into a fist fight with a couple of muggle thugs who called him a 'faggot' simply because he was walking down the street with Remus? The man was embarrassedly straight and even Severus could see that.

The days following Sirius' attack on Ron were somewhat confusing for the students, as everyone believed Sirius Black was after Harry not Ron, who became the new hero of the day. But slowly things settled back into normality among the students. Between the staff, however, the tension was still very palpable. Two times now Sirius Black had managed to make his way into the castle and then escape, and while the kids all saw it as a grand adventure frightful as it may be, the staff was responsible for their lives and Black was getting desperate, who knew what he'd do the next time he managed to sneak in.

Remus had a feeling Dumbledore and McGonagall were keeping an extra eye on him, knowing how close friends he and Sirius once been and it irked him to no end. So what if he was Sirius' friend, and so what if he didn't really believe Sirius was responsible for the deaths of Lily and James, he wasn't going to do anything to risk the lives of any of his students, he had a responsibility! He wasn't going to help Sirius into the castle, no matter if he was after Harry, Ron and even Mr. Filch's cat! He was feeling pressured and accused for no reason and that made him angry and sulky. On top of everything, it seemed that Severus finally realized he's gone too far with his Sirius induced jealousy and hasn't tried to approach Remus all week. Remus told himself it was for the best, because their relationship wasn't much of one to begin with and he hated feeling like Severus' whore, but a little part of him missed the dark grouchy man, or maybe it was just the opportunity to unwind a little.

By the time the weekend rolled around Remus was ready to scream, having to play the part of good and dependable Professor Lupin to the frightened kids and suspecting staff was wearing his patience thin. He was glad that it was a Hogsmede weekend, and doubly glad Dumbledore decided to let the kids go instead of imprisoning them in the castle 'for their own safety'. Remus was fully looking forward to a relaxed Saturday, alone in his rooms with hot cups of tea and lemon and his books, he had quite a pile of them he wanted to get at least started on.

He had just sat down in his comfortable chair in front of the fire, a light snack he got from the house-elves at the kitchen and his teacup steaming gently besides him and opened his book. Within five minutes he was thoroughly absorbed in the tale he was reading, so deep in fact, that he completely forgot about the crumpet he was holding, halfway to his mouth.

The fireplace suddenly flared green and a seething Severus shouted "Lupin!" causing Remus to drop his crumpet messily onto his robes. Remus glared at the fireplace suspiciously, why was Severus so determined that if _he_ couldn't get rid of the enormous stick up his bum no one else was to have fun? On a Hogsmede weekend no less!

"I want a word with you!" The dark man barked. Behind Severus' back Remus could just make out the blurry shape of a student, which he immediately recognized as Harry and wondered what sort of mess did the boy managed to land himself into this time. Seriously, even James wasn't as bad as his son! Sighing Remus cast a quick cleaning spell on his robes, and stepped through the grate into Severus' office.

"You called, Severus?" He asked pleasantly, a small part of him wanting to award Harry house points for making the man so mad but he feared Severus just might keel over with a heart attack if he did.

"I certainly did," Severus' face was white with rage and Remus briefly glanced at Harry who was cowering in his chair but look unharmed, "I have just asked Potter to empty his pockets. He was carrying this." He said, pointing at his desk. Remus approached curiously to see what the fuss was all about and for a second he thought he might be the one to end up with a heart attack. In front of him, on Severus' desk no less, sat absolutely the last thing he'd expected to ever lay eyes on again. His mind was racing while he tried to keep his face as neutral as possible.

"Well?" Severus' voice was deadly calm now, which Remus knew was a bad sign, "This parchment is full of Dark Magic. This is supposed to be your area of expertise, _Lupin_." He said, stressing Remus' last name as he always did when angry with the man, "Where do you imagine Potter got such a thing?" Which was exactly what Remus wanted to know, but not in front of Severus, oh gods, if Severus ever finds out he had any sort of connection to the parchment in front of them… Remus didn't even want to think about it- as faulty as their relationship was he still loved Severus and this sort of thing will hurt him beyond reconciliation. There was only one way to get out of this mess- lie his arse off!

"Full of Dark Magic?" He said, trying to keep his voice pleasant and even slightly amused but not overly so as to not get hexed by Severus, it was bad enough the parchment was insulting him, he didn't need Remus doing that in person too, "Do you really think so,

Severus? It looks to me as though it is merely a piece of parchment that insults anybody who reads it. Childish, but surely not dangerous? I imagine Harry got it from a joke shop -"

"Indeed?" Severus' eyes were blazing now, his jaw clenched so hard the words barely left his mouth, "You think a joke shop could supply him with such a thing? You don't think it more likely that he got it directly from the manufacturers?" Remus' jaw squared in the effort of keeping a passive expression and not gulp guiltily, Severus knew about the map? He knew about Moony and Prongs and Padfoot and Wormtail? This was bad, bad, bad.

"You mean, by Mr. Wormtail or one of these people?" he said. "Harry, do you know any of these men?"

"No," said Harry quickly, feeling in his guts the rescue was near and frankly he was ready to do anything at this point, including ducking behind Professor Lupin's back if wands were to be pulled. It seemed to him that no matter how angry Professor Snape was before, the minute he called for Professor Lupin he was positively murderous. How much hate could one person have to another, he wondered, and what the hell did Professor Lupin do that was so bad that had Snape looking like he was ready to kill him.

"You see, Severus?" Remus was still using that pseudo carefree tone, though he knew he wasn't fooling anyone, least of all Severus. "It looks like a Zonko product to me -" He didn't even manage to finish his sentence when the door to Severus' office burst open, revealing a disheveled panting Ron, who looked like he was running all the way from Hogsmede,

"I - gave - Harry - that - stuff," he choked. "Bought - it... in Zonko's... ages - ago..." He whizzed, nearly collapsing on Severus' desk and Remus had to work hard not to smack him upside down the head. How the hell was this helpful? Did Ron really think he'd be helping Harry's case by barging in even though he wasn't meant to know where Harry was or what he's been up to? True, Remus wasn't privy to all the details of the case but it was pretty clear Harry had tried to sneak into Hogsmede using the map and somehow managed to get himself caught by Severus, and Ron was trying to cover up for his friend, but Merlin, what a sloppy execution! Maybe Harry and Ron did need a couple of lessons from the Marauders on how to get out of sticky situations. No! Remus told himself firmly, don't go there, these days are over and you're now a responsible adult! What a depressing thought…

"Well," He cried, clapping his hands together to avoid the temptation of throttling Ron Weasley, "That seems to clear that up! Severus, I'll take this back, shall I?" He smiled pleasantly at the dark man who he was pretty sure was suffering for a circuit shortage in his brain due to all that anger by now, and snatched the map away, and before Severus had time to recover he herded the two teens out of the room.

He managed to keep his cool long enough to scold Harry for his recklessness, leaving the boy feeling very much guilty for his actions. Once he was back in the safety of his rooms Remus let out a long sigh, what a mess! How on earth did Harry get his hands on the map? Filch confiscated it years ago, before they even left school, and as far as Remus knew it was safely locked in one of his drawers, probably the one marked 'J. Potter, S. Black and the rest of them infuriating idiots!'- it was very amusing to find out that the drawer was still labeled this way even after all those years. Maybe he should have asked Filch for his permission to go through the drawer now that he was a teacher and technically could but he had a feeling Filch knew damn well he was one of them 'infuriating idiots' and frankly, Remus didn't really want Filch on his case as well, it was bad enough with Dumbledore and McGonagall.

The map was sitting on his desk, where he'd thrown her upon arriving but Remus didn't dare to touch it yet. He was pacing his room, trying to calm his nerves down. The Marauders Map, after all these years and the one man who should have had least access to it was the one who tried to activate it. At the time they all thought it was a brilliant idea to charm the map to insult anyone who didn't know the correct activation spell, and they did have tons of fun imagining what the map would say if Dumbledore or Filch got their hands on it but Severus? That was just cruel. Remus glanced at the map again seeing his nickname written in bright letters saying horrible things about Severus' nose and cringed. He pulled his wand out and put it to the map, wiping it clean.


	9. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

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The next morning Remus woke up with a resolution to go and apologize to Severus. He wasn't entirely sure if he'd apologize for _everything_, but the least he could do was saying he was sorry for making Severus look like a fool in front of a student. But of course, that was easier said than done, and two days later Remus was still gathering up courage to face Severus.

Remus watched his lover discreetly during meals, seeing the man was still sulking and mad and tried to convince himself there was nothing that would make Severus happy- well, slightly less grouchy, it was Severus Snape after all- than his apology.

Three days later Remus was starting to hate himself. This was ridiculous he thought; he was a Gryffindor for Merlin's sake! He faced far more dangerous things than this! And so, having finally plucked up the courage Remus found himself standing in front of Severus' door Wednesday after classes. He still wasn't entirely sure what he was going to say to the man but he knew the longer he waited the harder it'll be. Taking a deep breath to calm his nerves Remus finally knocked,

"Enter." Remus pushed the door and entered the office; Severus was sitting at his desk, his quill poised and dripping with red ink, correcting students' essays. Severus lifted his head to see who was at his door and his jaw clenched. Of course he was still angry with Remus, not only did he humiliate him in front of a student, but Potter of all people. Besides, it's been three days and apparently Remus didn't see the need to come and say he was sorry beforehand. "Go away."

"Severus, please." Remus tried to stay calm and collected but if Severus was going to be childish and petulant he might as well turn and leave right now.

"Fine." Severus laid his quill down, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring at the man in front of him, "What do you want?"

"I want to apologize."

"You took your time." Remus sighed; of course Severus would resent him that too.

"I know, and I'm sorry." He said quietly, hoping his sincere tone would appease the dark man, "I sorry I lied to you." Severus' jaw tightened,

"So you do know what that parchment is." He stated his cold voice dropping like bricks of hate around Remus, gods he should have known it had something to do with Remus and that bunch of no-good ruffians he was hanging with during school.

"I do. But I can't tell you what it is," Remus said solemnly, his gaze fixed at the floor and thus missing the pinched expression that crossed Severus' face. "Just that it's not personal; the parchment is charmed to insult anyone who doesn't know how to activate it."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" No, seriously, was that Remus' idea of a proper apology? Secrets? Half truths? This was insulting.

"What do you want me to say, Severus?" Remus cried, yes this sucked in the way of apologies but damn it, there were actual lives depending on this one- his included and he _couldn't_ tell Severus everything. Especially since the man didn't quite earn the right to know all of his secrets yet, and probably never will if he continue to treat Remus like a two-knuts whore!

"How about some honesty?" Severus hissed, banging his hands loudly on his desk and leaning forward to fix Remus with a glare. Remus blinked in disbelief,

"Honesty? You want honesty? Then how about this?" He snarled, "I love you!" Severus was slightly taken aback by the unexpected statement,

"That wasn't…"

"Of course it isn't!" Remus cut viciously through Severus' stammering, wholly fed up with having to pretend everything was hunky-dory while inside he was falling to pieces, "Love is a feeling and you hate feelings, right?" Severus clenched his jaw, why did Remus always go to the 'heartless bastard' argument whenever they fought. Just because he didn't wear his heart on his sleeve like some rowdy Gryffindor didn't mean he didn't have feelings! "Feelings are a weakness, and you hate to be weak. Well, guess what, I love you. Merlin help me, I don't know why but I do." Remus' chest was heaving as he got more and more into his speech, it felt so good to get things off his chest once and for all. "I love you, you prick, and I always have but all you want is sex and I just can't do this anymore, because every time we shag a little part of me dies when you don't care!" Severus visibly winced at hearing that, but Remus was in full swing now and he wasn't about to let Severus to be sympathetic or nice about things to make him feel better! "Well, you got your bloody honesty and now you can choke on it because I'm done!" With that he turned around and swept out of the room, leaving a shocked and perplexed Severus behind.

**~o0o~ ~RS~ ~o0o~ ~RS~ ~o0o~ **

Making the right decision and actually living with the consequences were two completely different things, Remus came to realize. For the most part Remus _knew_ he's made the right one, but that didn't stop the yearning or the longing or the loneliness. What made it all worse was the fact that he was forced to see Severus at least three times a day during meals and that was pure torture.

Severus, of course, was showing no outer signs that any of this was effecting him in any way which only made Remus feel worse, because he couldn't say if it was all an act and Severus was suffering just as much as he was on the inside (oh Merlin, he hoped so!) or if he really was just a heartless bastard who didn't care for anything or anyone as long as he got his needs fulfilled.

Instead of allowing himself to sink into depression and wandering around the halls at night, looking sad and forlorn the way he did the last time he and Severus broke up, Remus decided to throw himself into his work, drawing strength from the youthful energy around him and refusing to think about Severus. He would use the responsibility he was given and made sure he was the best teacher ever- not that it was too hard, Remus knew that if the system worked both ways and the students awarded teachers points, he'd be on top. He tried not to let this sort of thing go to his head but it was nice to be appreciated for once.

Currently he was sitting with a pile of essays written by the second years and tried to make sense of them. Merlin, sometimes he thought Severus was right and those brats were simply un-teachable! Damn it! The whole point of submerging himself in work was that he won't think about Severus! Bugger! Lifting his head Remus nearly got a heart attack at the sight of the large brown owl sitting on the edge of his desk, its head cocked to the side as is the bird was actually listening to his muttered ramblings,

"What do you want?" Remus snapped at the bird, which looked far from impressed by his rudeness and simply reached its foot for Remus to grab the note attached to it. As soon as Remus freed it from its burden the bird took flight through the open door and Remus took his wand to spelled it shut, to avoid further unwanted avian surprises.

Reading the note his heart sank even further, and Remus was pretty sure Madam Pomfrey would find it in the vicinity of his knees by now. Dumbledore wanted to see him, for tea. Going to tea with your boss was never a good idea- they tended to ask questions you were never wanted to answer. What could Dumbledore possibly want with him? A dreadful thought crossed his mind, would he be fired? For the first time in his life Remus found a purpose he was willing to stick with for as long as he could but it turned out it was yet another dream. Dumbledore would be all polite and chagrined and Remus knew he'd buy the act because the old man was that good and that was it- by tomorrow he'd be back to doing nothing, having nothing and feeling like an even bigger failure than before. Why couldn't it be Severus who got sacked? Surely popularity should trump seniority?

By the time he had to go to see Dumbledore Remus worked himself into quite a state, at some point even considering begging and threatening to throw himself out of the astronomy tower just to keep his job, but in the end he decided against it mostly because it felt childish and anyway he was afraid of heights.

Knocking on the Headmaster's door Remus unconsciously straightened his robe before the cheerful voice of Dumbledore came from within. Taking a deep breath he pushed open the door open and entered the office, telling himself he'd accept his fate gracefully and whatever happens, he will not break down in tears!

"Remus, my dear boy," Dumbledore greeted his professor with a wide smile, gesturing for Remus to take a seat, "How are you?" He asked kindly,

"I'm fine sir." Remus answered stoically, his heart beating a mile a minute while he hoped he managed to keep a neutral expression on his face.

"What can I do for you?" Remus was taken aback with the unexpected question,

"Er, I don't know sir, you called _me_ here." Dumbledore leaned back in his chair, his eyes twinkling behind his half-moon spectacles,

"Quite so," He agreed, his voice sounding far too amused to Remus liking making him feel like he's been left out of some private joke- a feeling a lot of people got when talking to the Headmaster, "I was wondering if you're happy with us here in Hogwarts."

"I'm fine." Remus answered tightly, trying to keep the lid on the words that were threatening to come out, but the silence stretched as Dumbledore waited for him to add something more and finally Remus cracked, "Have you gotten any complaints about me?"

"Dear me, no!" Dumbledore managed to sound both aghast and offended and Remus clenched his fists trying to keep calm, "You're quite popular amongst the students!" Dumbledore assured him and Remus let himself relax a friction, "I just like to know that my staff is content."

"I'm quite… pleased with the way things are going." Remus was still cautious, he had a feeling the other shoe hadn't dropped yet and he would do his damn best not to let it hit him on the head if he could help it.

"Good, good, then perhaps you wouldn't mind doing me a small favour?" And there it was, whatever that favour may be Remus just knew he'd be humiliated and resentful.

"What is it?" He asked cautiously, eyeing his boss wearily, because while Albus Dumbledore liked to pretend he was best friend with his staff, much to the chagrin of most of them he was still the Headmaster and could still get people sacked and Remus kept reminding himself of that fact.

"I don't know if you've noticed but Professor Snape seems to be having quite a hard time lately and, well, there had been complains." Remus found himself biting his lip to avoid from smiling but damn it! This was the best news he'd received in quite a while! So Severus _did_ care, and he _was_ affected by the situation! Severus' poor students must have been at wits' end if they went as far as complaining but Remus was feeling elated. A little part of his brain warned Remus he was still sitting in Dumbledore's office and punching the air yelling 'Yes, I knew it!' probably wasn't the best course of action. It took him a couple of seconds and a harsh biting to the inside of his mouth to get himself back under control,

"What does it have to do with me?" He asked, and suddenly a dreadful thought crossed his euphoria filled brain- what if Dumbledore knew about them? There wasn't an actual rule against teachers dating each other (and a good thing too otherwise none of the Hogwarts staff would ever have sex), but both he and Severus were very discreet about whatever they had going. Though, Dumbledore had a very unnerving knack of knowing pretty much everything that went down in the castle, and more importantly- meddling with whatever he felt was amusing enough for him. Oh, Merlin… What if this was the Headmaster's none-too-subtle way to try and get him and Severus back together?

"I was hoping you'd have a word with him." Dumbledore said calmly, his blue eyes twinkling again and Remus felt his jaw clenching, oh yes, definitely meddling where he shouldn't!

"Why?" He asked slowly, feeling the tightness in every muscle as he tried to stop himself from simply jumping up and storming out. If there was still a chance to save a shred of his dignity it was by sitting here and denying everything as calmly as possible.

"I was under the impression the two of you were friends. Merlin knows he won't care to hear anything _I_ have to say." Dumbledore said easily, watching his employee shrewdly. No boss liked chaos amongst his staff and Albus P.W.B. Dumbledore was not a wizard that would allow such thing. He was smart and observant enough to realize that whatever was causing Severus Snape's bad mood had something to do with Remus Lupin, and right now, the easier path was to talk to Remus because even Dumbledore wasn't daft enough to confront a moody Snape without having all the facts at hand.

"I'm afraid I can't help you, _sir_." Remus said tightly, feeling the wolf trying to convey his feelings in a series of snarls and growls and did his damn best to keep it under control because growling at your boss will probably won't get you very far in any business. "Controlling the staff is _your_ job, so unless you wish to discuss complaints against _me,_ I would very much like to return to my work." For a long moment the two stared at each other, waiting to see if the other cracked first but eventually Dumbledore conceded defeat- if he wanted to keep at least some of his cards close to his chest there was no point pressing the matter, besides, he reminded himself, pushing a werewolf to a corner would probably end very badly for him,

"Very well my dear boy, thank you for your time." He smiled at the man, barely resisting adding 'run along, there's a good boy', but managing to stop himself just in time. Remus rose stiffly from his chair and made his way to the door, his back ramrod stiff and his stride long and purposeful. When the door closed Dumbledore leaned back in his chair and sighed- well, the easy way proved to be fruitless, which meant he'd have to tackle Snape next and right now he much preferred having to spend the full moon locked in a cage with Remus- with no wolfsbane potion.


	10. Chapter 9

**A/N**: I was so sure there was like a week between Snape catching Harry with the map and the whole mess in the Shrieking Shack, but when I looked at the PoA calendar in HPLexicon I realized it was actually almost five months! So the beginning is mostly rambling to pass the time…

**WARNING: **I have taken quite a few liberties with the original dialogues in this chapter! 

**Chapter Nine**

**~o0o~ ~RS~ ~o0o~ ~RS~ ~o0o~ **

As time tends to, it passed, unhindered by foolish human expectations, and life in Hogwarts continued much as it had before. After Remus' refusal to talk to Severus the Headmaster seemed to have worked his magic on the brooding potions master because Remus didn't hear complaints from the students any more than the usual 'greasy bastard' sort.

Every full moon he still got his potion regularly, though thankfully not from Severus himself but usually from Dumbledore or Madame Pomfrey. Remus was very thankful for Severus for doing this for him despite having to prepare potions for the Hospital Wing on top of his teaching duties, and he was doubly grateful that the man didn't take out his ire towards Remus on the potion and botched it on purpose.

Although life wasn't bad, and compared to what Remus had to endure before he came to teach in Hogwarts it was damn near perfect, he was still having difficulties sleeping. The big bed seemed so much lonelier now that there was virtually no chance of having another person in it and remembering Severus lying there, naked and sated was causing Remus to grow hard and want to burst in tears at the same time- resulting in much more self-loathing that was good for anyone, and shamefully he began to resort to calming droughts and sleeping potions.

What Remus wanted more than anything these days was to talk to Sirius. He knew the man was hiding in the Forbidden Forest, lying low and waiting for his chance, and he often wondered why Dumbledore hadn't chased him out yet- surely he could take Hagrid and his massive crossbow and track down Sirius, even if he was hiding as Padfoot. But the same little doubt must have been nagging Dumbledore as well, that Sirius wasn't guilty after all. To Remus it just didn't add up, Sirius defied his family's darkness even before he knew he was doing it simply by being sorted into Gryffindor. He wasn't a bad man, sometimes he did stupid things, yes, but they were all too young to know better and Sirius turning to Lord Voldemort's side just didn't fit anywhere! If only he could go into the forest and talk to Sirius himself… But Remus knew there were far too many eyes already upon him thinking he'd let Sirius into the castle in the first place that he simply couldn't take the risk. It wasn't just his job that was on the line- it was his life. He knew that if he'd be caught helping a convicted criminal the Ministry wouldn't think twice before giving him the Dementor's kiss, without even a trial! And he seriously doubted even Dumbledore could save him then.

And so he braved on, trying to keep his head down and do his job as best he could, knowing that even if none of the staff tried to catch him doing something sinister as helping out the notorious Sirius Black they were all still keeping an eye on him to make sure he was alright. Sometimes being a nice person could be such a pain in the arse…

But not all was lost; the Easter holidays Remus spent in Brighton, deciding he's had far too much of Hogwarts. For the first time in his life he had enough money to spend a couple of days in a hotel- not a fancy one but still a nice and comfy one, near the seaside. He had a chance to relax, eat well and actually have some fun without having to answer to anyone. He even hit a couple of clubs in town, hoping to drown some of his Severus-related sorrows in alcohol and pretty men, but in the end he kept chickening out at the last minute and ended up going home alone. Even without being present Severus was annoying him…

Mid April brought another small victory when in a spectacular display of flying Harry had won Gryffindor the Quidditch House Cup earning Remus a full five galleons from Professors Flitwick and Sprout. This time even Severus' sour face couldn't rain on Remus' parade.

Before any of the students were fully ready (except perhaps Hermione) the final exams came rolling by. Remus worked very hard to make sure his exams were both fair and actively fun, knowing that most of his students were likely to get higher results and actually learn something in the process if they actually enjoyed throwing themselves into the physical challenges rather than sit in a stifling classroom answering boring questions, and for the most part it worked, though he suspected several of the third year students were a little traumatized by the Boggart.

On Thursday, the last day of exams Remus was ready to drop. He'd just finished the seventh year N.E.W.T. level exam and both he and the students were exhausted. Going back to his rooms he threw his notes on the desk and headed straight to the shower, glad he had at least couple of hours to himself before he'd have to start grading, maybe he'll even take the whole weekend off to rest before he stared he mused as he let the hot water pound the aches out of his back, after all, tonight was a full moon and nobody would fault him if he took a day or two to recover.

After his shower Remus went over to his desk and pulled out the Marauders' Map. He's been following closely the whole business with the Hippogriff and while Remus was sympathetic and did his best to comfort Hagrid there was not much he could do. Hagrid had sent out word this morning that Buckbeak was sentenced to be executed that afternoon, and Remus knew that although he himself couldn't go- there was no way he was going anywhere near anyone from the department of dangerous animals regulations willingly, Harry and his friends will do their damn best to be there for the half-giant. He hasn't used the map once since he took it from Harry, the memories too painful and the whole thing too risky, but right now he wanted to make sure no one was going to get detention, or worse. He decided that if he was right and Harry, Ron and Hermione were anywhere near Hagrid's hut he'd send a word to Dumbledore, as a responsible teacher should.

"I solemnly swear I'm up to no good." He muttered softly, watching the familiar process of the map forming with a sad smile. A quick glance showed him that Severus was in his chambers, probably brewing or grading, or just being generally cranky. Remus quickly averted his eyes, reminding himself he was looking for Harry not spying on Severus- and anyway, it wasn't like he could actually tell what the other man was doing. Scanning the grounds he found the Ministry execution delegation near Hagrid's hut, along with Hagrid and Dumbledore but there was no sign of Harry, Ron or Hermione. Frowning Remus continued to scan the map until he reached the Whomping Willow just in time to see the dot marked Sirius Black dragging Ron into the secret passage, but what shocked him most was the fact that alongside Ron's name a dot showed up labeled 'Peter Pettigrew'.

Remus slumped back in shock. Peter? Peter was alive? The wheels were turning extra fast in Remus' brain trying to fit this new piece of information into the puzzle. If Peter was alive than… damn it, that changed everything! And that also meant that Sirius wasn't guilty after all! Grabbing his outer robe and wand Remus quickly ran out.

**~o0o~ ~RS~ ~o0o~ ~RS~ ~o0o~ **

When he reached the Whomping Willow, Remus was already out of breath and his side ached, apparently life and especially meals at Hogwarts had severely damaged his fitness. Taking a moment to catch his breath he searched for a suitable branch to stop the willow from tearing him limb from limb. When he found one he quickly slipped into the hole at the base of the tree, thanking Merlin he could still fit in and started making his way through the familiar tunnel.

Up ahead he could hear raised voices, knowing that once again Sirius managed to piss off everyone he came in contact with- it was a special skill, but right now it wasn't helping Sirius' case. Urging himself to go faster he rushed up the stairs and burst into the room rather recklessly, with his wand raised and took in the scene. Ron was lying on the floor, panting and clutching his leg painfully, Hermione was in a near hysterical state next to him and Harry was standing above a prone Sirius, his wand trained at Sirius' heart and his face contorted in hate, while Hermione's ginger cat stood on Sirius' chest, hissing at Harry. Without thinking Remus cried out the first spell that came to mind,

"Expelliarmus!" immediately three wands flew into his hand and he caught them, not lowering his own. Ignoring the three teenagers he focused his eyes on Sirius, he wanted answers, it's been thirteen bloody years, he _needed_ answers! "Where is he, Sirius?" he asked almost hoarsely and slowly Sirius extended his hand, pointing at Ron.

"But then…" He muttered, working hard to fit the pieces once again, if Peter was with Ron it could only mean he was disguising himself as a rat all those years, "Why hasn't he shown himself before now?" He was staring at the wall behind Sirius, trying to make sense of things, "Unless… unless you switched, without telling me…?" Sirius nodded mutely and Remus felt like a bucket of icy water was poured over him. He was shocked and relieved and hurt all at the same time. Sirius and James were supposed to be his best friends! How could they keep something as big as switching secret keepers from him? Did they honestly think he'd go and betray the secret to anyone? A little part of his brain argued that by not telling him they were actually protecting him but right now he didn't care about that because he'd been left out of the loop for too long and he's been led to believe that all his friends were gone and it was all a lie!

Blinking back tears he reached down and pulled Sirius to his feet, hugging the man tightly for the first time in twelve years. He could feel Sirius' body shaking in his arms, partly because he wasn't used to human contact anymore and partly because he was so relieved to be amongst friends again. Before the two could launch into a well overdue reminiscing session Hermione's shrill voice broke over them,

"I don't believe it!" The two men startled, suddenly remembering there were other people in the room and turned to look at the bewildered and confused teens. Hermione started babbling as soon as eyes were on her and as much as Remus tried to interject and explain the girl would have none of this, "Harry, don't trust him, he's been helping Black into the castle," She accused, pointing her finger at Remus, "He wants you dead too- he's a _werewolf_!" Silence filled the room as both Sirius and Remus held each other, each trying to stop the other from throttling the girl.

"Not at all up to your usual standards, Hermione," Remus said quietly once he managed to calm himself enough, "Only one out of three I'm afraid. I have not been helping Sirius get into the castle," Merlin knows he did everything he could to avoid doing just that, "And I certainly don't want Harry dead," He said flicking his gaze to the boy in question, hoping that he believed him, "But I won't deny that I am a werewolf." He closely observed the three teens' reactions, Hermione, despite her terror had a small glimpse of triumph in her eyes for managing to solve this riddle, Ron- in true pure blood fashion- looked revolted and Harry, poor oblivious Harry looked mostly confused.

In between interrogating Hermione as to how she figured his secret out (and thank you so much Severus for teaching the kids about werewolves!) and trying to get the others to understand, Remus found himself telling the teens his sob story, how he got bitten, and how Dumbledore let him into the school despite his condition and how his friends became Animagi for him. The hardest part, as he expected, was to convince them that Peter was indeed alive and in fact present in the room. Unsurprisingly, Ron was the hardest to convince, because no one likes to learn that their pet is actually a traitor and a murderer who was only seeking shelter with him. That, and trying to keep Sirius' from jumping on Ron and wrestling the rat out of his hands.

By the time he reached the end of his story he could see that Harry was willing to believe him, mostly because his parents were involved and he relished any sort of knowledge on them, Hermione in a typical Hermione fashion called them on their reckless teen behavior and only Ron was still reluctant to buy any of this, but Remus supposed he couldn't really fault the boy at the moment,

"All this year I've been struggling with myself, trying to make the right decision about all this, but in the end I guess I acted like a coward. Guess Severus was right about me all along."

Before anyone had a chance to move a muscle there was a rustling noise at the door and Severus Snape revealed himself from under Harry's invisibility cloak. Remus looked startled at the man, who was pretty much the last person he expected to see right there and then, briefly wondering if his mind was playing tricks on him or if by some strange coincidence he managed to conjure the man simply by saying his name.

"I knew it!" Severus cried triumphantly, pointing his wand at Remus, who looked at him in shock,

"Severus, what are you doing here?" He practically hissed, because whatever Severus thought he was doing, it wasn't going to help _anyone_!

"I came by to give you your potion, at the Headmaster's insistence," He growled, proving right Remus' suspicion that the old coot was indeed trying to meddle, "And I found the map open on your desk," Severus' eyes bore into Remus' promising a world pain later for being lied to, and Remus actually winced, "So I followed you here and found _this_ under the tree," He held up the discarded cloak and turned his eyes to Harry, "Very handy Potter!" He snarled at the youth who visibly shrank.

"This isn't what you think…" Remus began, putting his hands before him in a placating gesture. It was hard enough trying to get three hysterical teens plus Sirius under control; he really did not need an enraged Severus on top of that too.

"Really, Lupin, you're going to keep lying even after I've caught you red-handed?" Remus wanted to roll his eyes; of course Severus would misread the whole situation. It was probably wise to get a little space between him and Sirius but what the hell, it didn't really matter anymore; Severus was never going to believe him anyway. "I'm going to turn Black in and this time I'll make sure he'll get the punishment he deserves!" Next to him Sirius snarled viciously at the dark man and Remus was forced to put his hands on Sirius' chest to stop him from attacking Severus, which didn't help to calm Severus down one bit.

"You don't understand…" Remus made another feeble try but as he learned from his conversation with Hermione earlier, no one was listening at the other end.

"Shut up!" Severus yelled, "I've had enough of this!" He pointed his wand at Sirius' chest,

"But sir," Hermione said in a small voice, and Remus had to applaud her Gryffindor courage for trying to reason with Severus in his state of jealous rage, "Surely it wouldn't hurt to hear…" Severus turned violently towards her and the girl visibly cowered,

"Miss Granger, you are already in danger of being expelled from school, being off bounds," Severus told her, his voice deadly calm, "I suggest you keep your mouth shut." Hermione gulped at the thought of being tossed out of school and Severus turned back towards Remus and Sirius, "Oh, how I wished I was the one to catch you Black!" He snarled and advanced towards the man. Remus stepped forward to stand in front of Sirius, mentally reassuring himself that Severus wouldn't hurt his former lover,

"Severus," He said in a calm, soft voice, "Please put your wand down, we can talk about this…"

"Shut up!" Severus yelled, his stance changing into that of an attack mode, but before he managed to utter a spell three 'Expelliarmus' spells came hurling at him, knocking him out cold.

"Severus!" Remus yelled, trying to get to his lover and inspect the damage the three teens inflicted. He could see from the corner of his eye Hermione rocking back and forth moaning about hurting a teacher, but right now he didn't care- there will be points docked for this! A strong hand on his shoulder forced him to turn and face Sirius,

"My gods, not _this_ again!" The escaped prisoner fixed his friend with a scorching glare, "Really, Remus? I thought we were over this shit already…" Remus could feel the heat rising to his face, suddenly very aware that the three teens were watching him curiously,

"We… I… I am!" He stammered, much to his humiliation, "I am over it! I am." He said with as much conviction as he could muster. This was hardly the time, place or crowd to air his relationship with Severus.

"Over what, sir?" Hermione asked innocently and both Remus and Sirius turned to look at her, "What's going on between you and Professor Snape?"

"Nothing." He said firmly, elbowing Sirius hard in the ribs when the man let out a dismissive snort,

"Why does he hate you so much?" Harry chimed in, none if it made sense, and he's been watching his professors for the better part of the year trying to figure out what was going on between them. So what if they didn't get along during their school days, it's been ages ago!

"He doesn't…" Remus was just about ready to hex the lot of them and be done with it, "Look, can we just drop this?"

"Yeah, you should have left Snivellus to me; I would have finished him off for good." Sirius put in his two-knuts worth and Remus had to remind himself he didn't _actually _want to hit Sirius, but it was hard to remember why at the moment,

"Not funny, Sirius!" He grunted, "Can we move on, _please_?" To his utter horror Remus realized he was almost whining at this point. Sirius took one look at his friend and sobered up,

"Yeah, alright," He shrugged, "Guess I can give you hell over this after my name is cleared," He grinned at Remus who was tried not to roll his eyes. "You, hand over the rat." He said to Ron, who was clutching his pet closer to his chest,

"No, what are you going to do to Scabbers?" He asked suspiciously,

"Nothing," Remus assured him, "Nothing that will harm him." Behind him he heard Sirius grunting 'yet!' but he hoped none of the others heard it. Reluctantly Ron let go of the rat who was struggling with all its might to get free, but Remus was having none of that. He turned to Sirius, who picked up Severus' wand from next to his fallen body, "Together?" Sirius nodded and the two cast a spell. The three teens watched in fascination as Ron's rat morphed into a small, ratty, wheezy person. "Hello Peter," Remus said in a pleasant voice, just barely concealing his disgust, "It's been a while."

"My friends," Peter Pettigrew scampered towards Remus and Sirius who both had their wands trained on him, "It's so good to see you again."

"Save it, rat's breath," Sirius snarled, Peter took one glance at Sirius and decided the wise move would be to appeal to Remus, who as usual, was the voice of reason around,

"Remus, you're a good person, you'll never hurt a living soul…" Remus raised an eyebrow,

"Wanna bet? And no one here is your friend!" He snapped and Peter cowered backwards,

"Oh, but Severus Snape is? I've been watching you sneak around the castle Remus, you naughty boy…" He added with an evil smirk as Remus' face grew red and hot,

"You honestly think antagonizing the only person around who'll stop Sirius from AK-ing you into next week is a smart idea?" He grossed out through clenched teeth, just about ready to end things himself. Gods, how could he forget just how annoying Peter could be?

"Wait!" Hermione suddenly cried, "You and Professor Snape weren't fighting, you were…" Her mouth dropped in shock as Remus' eyes grew wide with guilty assurance,

"Now you really done yourself in Wormtail," Sirius told the rat with unconcealed malice, covering quickly for the stunned Remus before the situation will spiral completely out of control, "Shall we?" He asked Remus, who cleared his throat awkwardly and refused to look at Hermione,

"Definitely!" Together they pointed their wands at Peter, but as the man put his hands up in a feeble attempt to defend himself Harry stepped boldly in front of the wands,

"NO!" He cried, holding his hands up and both Remus and Sirius hurriedly dropped their wands to their sides.

"Harry, what are you doing?" Remus asked incredulously,

"This scum is the reason you haven't got parents!" Sirius snapped at the teen, who squared his jaw and refused to cower before the adults,

"Yeah, but I don't think my dad would want his two best friends to become murderers because of that filth." Sirius and Remus exchanged a glance, smiling softly at Harry,

"That's Lily talking." Remus said fondly,

"Yep, definitely Lily's boy," Sirius agreed, smiling a wide and genuine smile at Harry, "We're so proud of you." Harry gave a little shrug but couldn't help the satisfied blush blossoming on his cheeks at the compliment. Remus caught Peter rolling his eyes behind Harry's back and his smile slipped,

"Ok, move aside Harry," He said firmly, and raised his hand in a placating gesture when Harry opened his mouth to argue, "I'm not going to hurt him, just tie him up so we can take him to the castle." Nodding, Harry moved aside and Remus cast the spell, ropes shooting from the end of his wand and wrapping themselves tightly around Peter's body.

Quickly organizing the troops for the march back to the castle Remus had himself and Ron shackled to the now gagged Peter, while Sirius 'volunteered' to take care of Severus. Remus cast his best friend a dirty look but Sirius only smirked knowing that Remus has had enough humiliation for one night and won't put up a fight. Remus knew that Sirius won this round and while it was good to see some of the old spirit back, Remus wished it wasn't at his expense. Still, as Sirius said himself, he had a lifetime of friendly bantering ahead of him as soon as they cleared Sirius' name.

The strange procession made its way towards the tunnel; with Hermione's cat Crookshanks leading the way and pressing the knob at the base of the tree to stop the Whomping Willow from ending their journey too soon.

As soon as they left the frozen canopy of the tree behind, Remus knew something was wrong. The sky was cloudy but that did not stop the moon from actually rising and the last thing Remus heard before the pain took over was Hermione's scream, then everything turned black.


	11. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

**~o0o~ ~RS~ ~o0o~ ~RS~ ~o0o~ **

Remus groaned as consciousness took over. His head was swimming and his entire body ached, hell, even his internal organs were in pain! He tried to fight back the nausea that was spreading through his intestines before he risked opening his eyes. Moving only his eyes around he realized he was in the Hospital Wing, in a soft bed with crisp white sheets and not on the floor of the Forbidden Forest as he feared.

Little snaps and flashes of last night started to come back and Remus flickered through them, trying to piece the whole thing together. There were the exams, of that he was sure, because even in his state he knew he had a huge pile of them to grade, and then he went after Harry, Ron and Hermione to the Shrieking Shack, now why would he do that? Sirius! And Peter!

Remus tried to sit bolt upright in his bed, but only managed to flail feebly as his tired muscles refused to cooperate. A soft hand lay on his shoulder and he turned his head noticing for the first time he wasn't alone,

"You shouldn't stress yourself too much." Remus slumped back into the bed when he realized that even if he did managed to get up on his own, Severus would never let him leave the bed.

"Peter, he's alive! We caught him, has he been brought before Dumbledore?" He asked urgently, not caring why Severus was actually there at the moment, "Sirius, is he alright? Was he cleared? And Harry, are the kids alright?" Oh, Merlin if something happened to the kids… He hadn't taken his potion last night, judging from the pain he woke up in and he was running around loose, he was outside on a full moon with no potion! It's a miracle he wasn't given the Dementor's kiss already! He could feel himself starting to hyperventilate, a panic attack growing inside him.

"Everyone's alive," Severus replied, his voice suggesting he wasn't entirely happy with that outcome but Remus couldn't exactly tell whose state of vitality pissed him more. "Sadly, Pettigrew escaped, as did Black. The kids are all well and safe." Remus closed his eyes and sagged back onto the pillow, so nothing changed. If Peter escaped, no doubt seeking his foul master's side, then there was no way to acquit Sirius and set him free! Everything was for nothing, he'd put people's lives at risk and nothing changed… "The hippogriff was rescued though." Remus let out a small laugh that sounded more like a sob. "Remus…" The man in question slowly blinked his eyes open,

"Why are you here?" He asked quietly. There was a part of Remus that was actually glad Severus was there, even after what he's personally been through the night before, but then again, it could be yet another devious plot by Dumbledore- forcing Severus to bed-watch him. He wasn't even sure what the Headmaster's goal here was, because he was pretty sure Dumbledore didn't know they used to date back in the day and if he did know what they were doing all year he probably couldn't tell there were actual feelings behind everything.

"I wanted to make sure you were alright." Severus answered simply and Remus felt like crying,

"Guilty conscious? I never knew you had one, Severus." He snarled at the man in hopes of covering for his guilt over last night events. Somehow it was easier to lash out at Severus than thinking about what had happened, and what _almost_ happened, "Why do you do this? I told you I was done with whatever we had, and I'm not going to let you break my heart again!" Severus sighed, he knew this wasn't going to be easy but he vowed to himself he'd try and get things right this time,

"I know, I'm not here to try and get you into my bed," He said quietly, "I've got something for you."

"What?" Remus said, his voice sounding petulant in his own ears. Severus pulled something out of his pocket and put it on Remus' chest gently. Remus picked it up to examine it and found out he was holding a ring. A beautiful and clearly old ring made of white gold, with an intricate pattern going round it. He looked up at Severus in puzzlement.

"It was my mother's," Severus said quietly, suddenly feeling nervous at Remus' perplexed expression, perhaps simply presenting Remus with the ring was a mistake, perhaps he should have led to it better somehow, but he wanted to convince Remus he was serious as fast as he could before the other man realize he was better off without him for good, "It's the Prince matrimony ring, she was supposed to give it to my father, but instead she passed it on to me." He was babbling, Merlin was his witness he was babbling like an idiot! Thank Merlin there weren't any students at the ward to hear this.

"Wait," Remus said with slight confusion, though his heart was already increasing its beat, "Are you saying what I think you're trying to say in your very Snape-ish, most unromantic way?" Severus actually rolled his eyes and bit the inside of his cheek to keep his smile at bay,

"Yes, I am. What is your answer?" Remus was studying the ring, rolling it in between his fingers,

"My answer to what?" He replied cheekily, "I didn't hear a question." Severus took a deep breath,

"You're going to make me spell it, aren't you?" Remus lifted bright eyes to his lover, his heart soaring with joy,

"Of course I am." He deadpanned, "I don't expect I'll get many more proposals in my life, so you better make this one count!" He looked challengingly at Severus; almost not daring to hope he will actually follow through with this. Ok, so it wasn't some half-baked plan by Dumbledore, Severus genuinely wanted his forgiveness and his heart and that felt so good.

"Alright," Severus grumbled but without any malice in his voice, "Remus John Lupin, will you…"

"Wait!" Remus cried and Severus gave him one of his glares, which Remus ignored completely, "Do it properly, one knee and all." Severus sighed again, gods if he knew the werewolf was going to make him grovel… Grumbling quietly he got off the bed and knelt beside it, feeling like ten kinds of idiot,

"This is ridiculous!" He exclaimed, "I can't even see you." From above him he heard Remus chuckle,

"Yeah, me either, come on back up." Severus rose to his feet and tried to glare at his lover and with some luck- soon to be fiancé but couldn't really muster the venom in face of Remus' bright smile. Sitting himself back on the bed Severus allowed himself a small smile, he knew life with Remus wasn't going to be easy- especially since the werewolf was quite immune to his glares and foul moods, but it would be worth it, Severus was sure, even if he'd have to lost most of his dignity getting Remus to comply.

"Remus John Lupin, I know I acted like a complete arse towards you all year," Severus began and Remus did his best to keep his eye rolling to himself, "But I love you. You're the only man I've ever loved and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, properly this time. So, would you do me the honor of becoming my husband?"

"Well, when you put it this way…" Remus said with a somewhat wet chuckle, blinking tears away- if he'd known Severus would reduce him to _this_… damn him and his charm anyway! A smile blossomed on Severus' face, a real and genuine smile and Remus knew that he was sold. Reaching his hand over to Severus he let the other man slip the ring on his finger, before he lifted his eyes to see Severus looking very please with himself indeed. "One thing though." Severus' smile wavered a little,

"What?"

"We're getting you a ring as well." Severus made a face that on any other living person Remus would call pouty,

"I can't wear a ring, brewing potions…" He began but Remus cut him off with a wave of his hand, loving the way his new ring caught the light and its weight on his finger,

"Is a very lame excuse!" He informed his fiancé, "You don't dip your hands in the potions. I refuse to be your dirty secret again, and I don't want to hide anymore." He told Severus firmly. The two engaged in a short staring match but Severus soon deflated in defeat,

"Fine, I'll wear a ring," He practically spat out the words but Remus could see Severus was actually excited by the idea. "But I'm not having Dumbledore announcing it in the farewell feast!" He warned with his finger pointed at Remus, who looked like he was about to burst in laughter,

"Oh, don't worry, we're not telling Dumbledore!"

"Good." Severus said- a small part of him still feeling strange about the whole affair, somehow he expected Remus to put more of a fight, but mostly he was glad things were going so smoothly, even if it meant he'd have to wear a ring and have the whole school wondering about it. Perhaps he could glamour it somehow, to hide if from the students at least. "We should probably discuss whether you'll be moving to the dungeons or me moving to your rooms." Suddenly the smile slipped from Remus' face, and he bit his lip,

"Er… I don't think it'll be a problem…"

"Because you'll be moving to the dungeons?" Severus asked slowly, the change in Remus' demeanor didn't bode well, and he could feel it all the way to the pit of his stomach.

"Because I'm not staying."

"Why?" What else did Remus have to do with his time? Besides, as much as it pained Severus to admit it, because Defense Against Dark Arts was his coveted subject- Remus was a bloody fantastic teacher! The kids actually liked him, and he managed to make DADA fun! Finally Hogwarts had a DADA teacher that even Severus couldn't object would stay on for more than a year.

"Severus," Remus said gravely, "I almost attacked three students last night! I can't take the risk of hurting anyone."

"There's the potion…" Severus began, feeling like his heart was sinking low- they just got engaged and instead of bickering about what shades they should paint their joined rooms they were going to be separated? This was _not _according to plan!

"I don't trust myself, I can't… it's too dangerous." Remus shook his head, his whole body shuddering with thoughts of worst case scenario. Severus wanted to grab Remus by the shoulders and shake him- the castle was full of fully grown, capable wizards and witches that were keeping a close eye on Remus for Merlin's sake! One near slip didn't mean things would go wrong in the future! Especially now that he'll have Severus at his beck and call! He wanted to yell at Remus that there were special circumstances to last night and that not every full moon was going to be like this, but the determined look on Remus' face told him he'd be wasting his breath- there was a reason why people like Remus ended up in Gryffindor, too good for their own sake.

"So what are we going to do?" Severus asked in an icy tone to cover up for the hurt that was spreading in him like an inside Cruciatus curse. Remus looked up at his lover, feeling the change in Severus' demeanor and knowing that his man was more likely to shut off and go hex students than actually saying he was disappointed or hurt. Grabbing Severus' hand in his Remus smiled softly,

"We can still get married, and I could stay here with you or we could fix Spinner's end, but I can't keep teaching here." Severus made his pouty face again and Remus bit his lip to stop from chuckling, because if he even dared to think of Severus as cute the dark man would probably hex the ring right off his finger and disappear altogether. "It'll be alright." He promised his lover instead.

"I suppose." Severus shrugged, still feeling petulant but at least part of him acknowledged the wisdom in Remus' words.

"Besides, I have a feeling it'll be better if we don't actually work together." Severus narrowed his eyes, from the tone of Remus' voice he had a feeling this was somehow going to end up as a joke at his expense.

"Because you're going to make my Boggart wear an ugly dress again?" Remus bit his lip again but this time couldn't help a snort of laughter from escaping, but he quickly clamped his mouth shut when he saw Severus' expression,

"You know, I can't help but think that you wouldn't be as upset if the dress fit better." Severus let out a soft dismissing snort to show what he thought of the idea, but Remus was unabashedly grinning now, "It's your own fault, you know."

"Oh," Severus crossed his arms over his chest, "How come?"

"Well, if you didn't work so hard to make everyone scared of you, you wouldn't end up as anyone's Boggart." Remus explained simply. Severus had to learn there were consequences to his actions and if the only way to teach him was to put him in an ugly dress and vulture hat than it was a price Remus was willing to pay. After all, Severus in that dress was _not_ sexy!

"Yes, but if I'll be nice to the pests they'll want to talk to me after teaching hours, they'll _like _me…" Severus sounded positively aghast while Remus was howling with laughter,

"Oh, Sev," He chuckled, wiping happy tears away, "Never change. I love you."

"I love you too." Severus responded softly and leaned down to kiss his fiancé. Remus smiled into the kiss, moving a little to get into a better position and deepen the kiss when his muscles protested and he groaned in pain, Severus hurriedly broke the kiss,

"Are you alright? Shall I call Madame Pomfrey?" Remus quickly shook his head, the last thing he needed right now was the nosy matron interrupting their perfect moment,

"No, just stay with me." Severus looked undecided for a few seconds but eventually nodded and spelled his shoes and outer robe away before crawling into the bed to wrap his arms around his beloved.

**~o0o~ ~RS~ ~o0o~ ~RS~ ~o0o~ **

Harry ran through the corridors, jumping recklessly onto the staircase just as it started to move away from him. It couldn't be right; surely there was some sort of mistake! Hagrid must have been ill informed! Teacher or no, he was wrong!

Charging around the corner in full speed he skidded to a hasty halt in front of Professor Lupin's door, which stood open, only to see his favorite professor directing a neat stack of books into an already full trunk and closing the lid with a swish of his wand,

"It's true then…" Harry heart sank and he slumped against the door frame, suddenly exhausted, "You're really leaving." Remus looked up from his packing, smiling gently at the youth,

"I'm afraid so, Harry." Pushing himself off the door frame Harry strode into the room, grabbing a pile of books from a nearby desk and clutching them to his chest, as if this small act of rebellion will change Remus' mind,

"But why?" He cried, "We'll keep your secret, Ron and Hermione would never tell!" Remus smiled sadly, if only things were as simple as that. Sometimes he wished he could still have Harry's thirteen years old naïveté but then again, even when he was thirteen he was already much more jaded than Harry will ever be, no matter what The Dark Lord had in store for him,

"I trust you, and Ron and Hermione," He assured the boy, "The one I don't trust is myself, Harry, and that is why I have to go." Harry looked at the verge of tears and Remus put a tentative hand on his shoulder, hopping for a reassuring pat when the boy flew into his arms and wrapped his arms tightly around Remus. Remus looked shocked for a second before he smiled softly and returned the hug warmly.

"Is it because of Professor Snape?" Harry asked quietly, "I know that Hermione thinks you two were…" Remus shook his head to himself, Merlin save me from overly smart witches he thought before he gently pushed Harry so that he could look the boy in the eye,

"Severus and I… we've reached an understanding." He said slowly, knowing full well that if he told Harry the whole truth there was no telling what chaos will ensue, besides, if Severus will find out he told Harry, of all people, that they were engaged before they told anyone else he could probably kiss said engagement goodbye. "It has nothing to do with him." Walking over to the desk Remus grabbed Harry's invisibility cloak and handed it over, "I went back to the Shrieking Shack to rescue this for you." Harry smiled a sad, slightly watery smile as he took his cloak back and Remus took a deep breath before grabbing the Marauders Map from the table, "Since I'm no longer your teacher I feel no guilt in returning this to you. Use it wisely Harry." He told the youth and Harry nodded somberly- he was going to have to step up his game if he didn't want to be caught by Snape again, because now that Professor Lupin was leaving there will be no buffer between him and the man's hatred.

A knock was heard and the two turned to see Dumbledore standing in the doorway. Harry hastily stuffed his possessions in his bag while Dumbledore smiled at Remus and pretended he didn't see,

"Your coach awaits you, Remus." He said pleasantly, and Remus nodded in thanks, surveying his rooms one last time to make sure he took everything before he shrank his possessions and pocketed them and walked over to the Headmaster to shake his hand,

"It's alright; you don't have to escort me down." He told his boss and Dumbledore gave him a small suggestive wink that caused Remus to blush to the roots of his hair and practically run out of the room before Harry saw him. A part of his was sad and disappointed to leave the castle behind, because despite of everything- he's had a good year. When he reached the courtyard he saw Severus standing next to the coach, waiting for him and glaring at the thestrals in his usual Snape way and a wide smile broke on Remus' face, yes it has been a good year, but the new one will be even better!

**~o0o~ ~RS~ ~o0o~ ~RS~ ~o0o~ **

**A/N: **YAY! Another story finished! I must confess it turned out different from where I started but that what happens when you take about a year to write 10 chapters…

I hoped you enjoyed it. Thank you for reading, reviewing and just in general.

Love, Lilyyuri.


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